Just to anyone who is reading this;
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
it means the world to me that someone is taking the time out of their day to read my story :)
Also, if its not to much trouble, some feedback would be nice :D
Doesn't matter if it's good or bad, just anything to shape my writing into something a little nicer for ya'll to read
Ok that's all. I'll get to the story now... ;)
-R
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pulling at the straps of my backpack, I trudged up the steps of the red brick building.
I tripped at the top step, but not enough to fall and I steadied myself.
The world was spinning around me a bit, making me dizzy.
I lost maybe 1 or 2 pints of blood last night and I knew I shouldn't be here right now, yet here I was opening the glass doors and walking inside my hell.
I kept my head low and wove through all the people in the halls.
The people talking to friends I could never have.
The people laughing.
The people smiling while my face stayed expressionless.
Like it should be.
The cold new metal dangled and hit my chest with each step.
Like it should.
Then I was pushed against a locker.
"Oh look! It's our favorite worthless piece of shit."
And I was knocked onto the filthy tile.
Where I should be.
-
Limping down the now empty hallways, my wrist itched and I scratched at my scabbed wrist until I felt the relief of a slow trickle towards my palm.
Reaching my classroom door, I rubbed my hands together to smear the blood into little flakes and brushed them off my hands.
I didn't look to beat as all the kicks and punches went towards the covered parts of my body.
They were always careful about not getting caught, always making sure not to damage my face.
Raising my fist, I knocked gently on the door, hoping that if my teacher didn't hear it I could say I tried and walk away.
But Mr. Poole opened it and looked at me angrily.
"Oh Jonas! How nice of you to join us." He exclaimed sarcastically.
I just looked down at the floor, afraid to make the situation worse with eye contact.
"You can go sit down then after lunch you have detention." I only nodded at his harsh tone and stepped into the classroom, avoiding the harsh gazes of my fellow students.
After sitting at my desk in the back right corner, I stared at a far wall, watching a spider weave a tiny web right over one of the girls hair. I exhaled through my nose a little, in a very silent laughter, watching the tiny black creature go into her curls.
The rest of math consisted of me being yelled at for tapping my pencil on the paper in a effort to pass time and me stopping but not saying a word.
Basically nothing happened for the first half of my day. Other than being glared at in the halls and being called a faggot by the black sharpie on my locker.
By the time lunch rolled around I was ready to just go home. But then I remembered that mom was off from work on Wednesdays and decided to stay.
Heading into the cafeteria, my eyes widened at the sight of a few peppy girls sitting at my table.
My table, because nobody sits with me.
Obviously. Who would?
I scanned the room for another empty table but all I saw were the grinning faces of people talking to their friends.
Sighing, I walked to my table and cleared my throat to get their attention.
They stared at me for the longest time.
Neither of us saying anything.
The whole room went silent and watched me and the girl that had a spider buried somewhere in her hair.
"So.. what to do you what faggot?"
I motioned to my table.
"You want our table?"
I nodded.
"Sure! Come on girls! Lets go."
I was surprised but waited till her gang had moved their things and sat down.
After pugging in my earphones, I lay my head into my folded arms against the table.
"I'm gonna hold your hand so tight,
It's gonna break my wrist.
And when the vultures sing tonight
I'm gonna join right in.
I'm sing alon-"
My earbuds were forcefully ripped from my ears and all I could see was a green goop dripping down my forehead.
Laughter erupted from the entire room when I turned and saw Rick standing there. A half empty bucket of pea soup held tightly in his hands.
Time slowed and I saw a small chain around his neck, tucked into his shirt.
Tears welled in my eyes.
At all the eyes on me.
At my ruined clothes, earbuds and well... hair...
But also at the fact that Rick did this.
And he still wore my 'necklace' like a trophy
"Alright Chelsea, you can have you table back now. This faggot is done here."
Chelsea beamed and walked up to Ryan and kissed his cheek.
"Thanks babe."
And that my trigger.
Something inside of me clicked at that moment and my wrist burned and itched in anticipation.
I shakily stood and sprinted out of the cafeteria towards the men's room.
I had just realized something drastic.
And it scared me so fucking badly.
I was a faggot after all.
---------
First of all, I have nothing against gay people! (I mean its a slash story... Come on) I only made Jonas call himself that because he doesn't want to be gay and the idea that homosexuality is a bad thing has been pounded into his head with full force from years of bulling.
Please rate, comment, and all that jazz.
Cya ;)
-R
