Dream || TXT Stanfiction || LGBTQ+

Prologue: Kyong's Past

(Age: 6) 

Screams. Shouts. Falling, falling, falling... then red and then darkness.

I woke up screaming. Sweat beaded on my forehead, and I reached up to wipe it away. Another nightmare, of falling endlessly, spiraling through the dark void that clouded my thoughts everyday. Pulling my legs in, and trying to not be afraid of what would happen next, I fell back asleep.

(Age: 7) 

My mom is telling me to lose weight and study more, now that I have a device. My friends don't talk to me anymore, and they seem to have split up into popularity groups. I remember when everybody was friends with each other, and everybody still played with me. Why don't they like me anymore? Is it because I'm something called "fat" or "ugly"?

(Age: 8)

Sprawled on the couch in the living room, I hear screaming. Loud. I jump up, worrying instantly. Was dad drunk again? Running into the kitchen, I see my dad yelling while dragging my hysterically screaming mom around by her hair.

"CALL 911! HELP ME!" My mother screams.

I freeze, shock etched across my face. Tears push their way out of the tightly sealed bottle I keep them in along with my stirring anxiety. 

"No, it's fine, don't call anybody," My father growls.

I cry while trying to force my parents apart, while my dad transitions to twisting my mother's arms and punching. I end up dialing 911 to separate them, and my parents officially divorced. Dad never visits anymore, because if he does he'll go to jail.

(Age: 9)

I see the counselor really often. She tells me that I think too much about things I can't control, and wants me to take things easier. I think that killing myself would be an easier way to make everybody happy, because my mom is unhappy and yells at me because I think about the growing void inside of me more than and instead of school.

(Age: ???)

I've given up, started cutting myself. I can't bear the responsibility of everything in my life, and I'm scared of telling my mom and dad that I'm bisexual. My only friend is gone, pulled away from me forcibly. He was the only one who understood me, and now I'm left to face this void alone.

(Age: Present, 19)

Broken hearts. Empty promises and hollow memories with no meaning. Venomous insults and accusations. A flash of my father moving on with his new wife and a baby daughter. Blood, sweat, and tears. Cuts on my wrists, ankles, and stomach. Refusing food. Gazing at the stars, longing for something to help fill the dark cavity in my chest where emotions should have resided.

This is the same recurring nightmare I have.....

Of my reality.

(A/N: Sorry that it's short. Next chapter coming soon, I'll try to post more regularly.)