Eleanor Stargazer

Chapter One

"And it echoes when I breathe

Until all you see is my ghost

Empty vessel, crooked teeth

Wish you could see"

- Of Monsters and Men

Eleanor

Life wasn't always like this. There was a time when going to bed at night meant slipping under warm linen covers and when waking up was met with the excitement of drinking freshly pressed coffee, meeting friends for milkshakes, and walking past the new iFix store trying to make eye contact with the cute new sales guy. Now all she had was the damp earth to lay upon and a bridge that will hopefully keep most of the cold at bay for the evening. Mornings wasn't a blessing either. Waking up meant that she was still here. It meant that she had to endure another day. There were moments that Ellie prayed that her eyes won't open the next morning, that her breath would gradually fade away during one of her dreams of being tucked away by her mom. Her mom. How she regretted every single day of not hugging her mom, not kissing her cheek, or embracing the moments her mom tried to talk to her.

Ellie's cheeks were wet, whether it was from the rain or crying wasn't clear anymore. It didn't matter. She was always crying at night, and it was always wet here. Even when it didn't rain. The air was damp, and mist filled the early mornings.

The people here weren't kind either, or perhaps people back home were also unkind. She was just lucky enough to be born into her life. She only experienced the extravagant kindness of people who tried to get close to her, girls who wanted to be her friends, boys who tried to date her. She knew it even back then, but she always believed that once they got to know her, they truly wanted to be her friend, that they really did like her. What if she was wrong about it all?

"Good eve, missy." An old lady with a ragged dress sat down next to her. "I see you reserved the best spot for yerself."

Ellie offered the lady a smile, pointing to a spot higher up where a torn blanket was laid down.

"For me?" The lady smiled. "Yer too kind, missy. This life isn't going to spare someone with yer kindness. Best t' keep it to yerself."

"That's the problem with this world." Ellie whispered. "It seems to keep all of its kindness locked away."

"That's the problem with all worlds, missy." The lady moved up to the spot that Ellie prepared for her, tucking herself in under the torn blanket. "How long yer plannin' on stayin'?"

"I don't know." She looked down at her hands blemished with mud and dirt, even some bruises. "I just don't know what to do, Miss Maria." Ellie didn't even try to stop the tears anymore. It flowed without hesitation when she thought about home.

"You've got yer ticket out of here. Why not use it?"

"It doesn't work that way. Just because I get away from here, doesn't mean I'll end up where I need to be. It doesn't even mean I'll end up somewhere better. It could be worse and this-" She swallowed a sob. Her hands went to her pocket pulling out a small yellow match box, sliding the box open. "This is my last chance."

*****

Damian

"Damian!" A big bearded man bellowed from behind his fruit stall, turning the whole market's attention to him.

"I promise to pay you back, Uncle!" A reply came from between the crowds. Damian was running with a bag of apples, a big smile plastered on his face. He knew he wouldn't get into too much trouble. Despite the burly man's appearance, his uncle was a good man.