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When I saw him, again

After all that shit I've been through, I saw Hunter again, and it went really bad.

I was going to get some food, like candies and chips, and that's when I saw him.

He wasn't far away and I know he saw me too. I did as if I didn't see him and went on, walking normally,

I started shivering and my hands started getting sweaty. I heard him say my name, and I knew, I couldn't run away

And there was no way out of it, he wanted to talk, I couldn't say no. I turned around, I couldn't look him in the eyes.

He was with his friends, the same boys he was with when it all happened. He looked at them and they nodded their head, turned around and walked away leaving us, alone. We were in a creepy place between two long buildings, he lit up a cigarette and started walking around me saying my name. I froze, I started feeling dizzy. He threw the cigarette on the ground and came to me, hugging me tightly. I just stood there, and he kissed my forehead, and said, he missed me. He put his hand on my neck and started playing with my hair, putting it behind my ears.

He unlocked my jacket zipper and started touching my belly, putting his hand below my top, I moved, I tried to push him back, he held my wrists tight and started kissing my neck, going down to my shoulder and my chest. And then, my phone rang, he threw me on the ground and threw my phone at me. He smirked and lit another cigarette up, leaving me on the ground. I got up, I was shaking, I was cold. He moved closer and bit my lips, held my wrists, unzipped my pants and threw himself on me. I couldn't move, he was holding my wrists sharply and started moaning, and I was fading away, I couldn't talk, I couldn't see anything but his body on mine. Again.

He went on for some time and when he finished, he put my pants back on, and told me "see you soon". The tears started rolling down my cheeks, as I could hear his sharp laugh fading away. Everything started going blur, I started sobbing harder, I called Ryder and told him where I was, and then, I just fell, and for a moment, I was lying on the floor looking at the dark sky, there were no stars. I was slowly falling into a black hole.

He came, with Liam, they held me into the car. But me in the backseat, on their laps, and started driving fast. I was paralyzed and barely conscious. I started crying and moving, I didn't know where I am, Ryder held me in his arms and I went unconscious.

I woke up ten minutes after, the car was parked next to a pharmacy. One of them went down to buy me pills and plasters that could help cover my bruises. He gave me a pill and covered up my bruises and cuts. Knowing he needed to bring me back home, where my family would have started to get worried. When they arrived next to my house. They helped me get up, hoping I'll get better, looking at me with pity and sadness, not knowing what to do, whether to call the cops, bring me to the hospital or leave me to deal with it, they knew that I wouldn't let them tell anyone about it, again, it had happened all over again, and I did nothing about it, I couldn't tell my parents, I had enough shit going on with them, with all the school and work stuff, with all the bad things going on in life, I couldn't just tell them. I would seek intense therapy and interrogation and courts. And that's not what I wanted to happen, I had to keep quiet. And in fact, it was too shameful to tell anybody, precisely ... adults. And I know that these types of things, would have gotten all over school, rumors, and bullshit, I couldn't let that happen.