Welp, time to go back to the ol' vent book. Today's subject: Friends
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Ah, friends. They can be super fucking shitty.
Unwanted
I feel unwanted in my friend group. Like if I just left no one would care. I never get invited to do anything after school by them, and usually when I invite them they can't for some reason. There's this one friend, who I know is going through a rough time. I'm super worried about them because of this. But I feel like they hate me, or don't really acknowledge that I exist. They post videos of hanging out with othL0rfriL0lnds from my group, and talk about it in front of me all the time. Another person hangs out with me when we're alone, but if her ex is there, it's like I'm a ghost or something. She'll even just leave without saying anything to me. I just feel useless... And I couldn't find anyone with the same interests as me if I tried. My friends also ignore my texts unless it benefits them. There's so many examples of this but the most recent is me getting kicked out of my apartment. I vented about it on a group chat, and pretty much the general response was "oof". After that they started talking about fucking puppies.
Ridicule
Ridicule is also a often theme with how my 'friends' interact with me. I get the usual, "You're too loud. " a lot. When I was younger, I was really shy and had a hard time speaking, to this day I still do. So, I started speaking louder which apparently annoys a lot of people and the occasional slur or stutter of my words. People think it's funny to laugh at me for this for some reason. It can be quite annoying. A few months ago, my friend said something in math that really caused me to go deep into thought. I was having a hard time in math and asked her about one of the problems. Usually she's really goofy, but when I asked her she took on a serious tone. She said something along the lines of, "That's really easy, can't you do it yourself?" I don't remember exactly what it was but it really hurt me for some reason. I've always struggled in math so maybe that's why...
If any of my friends are reading this, please don't ignore everything I wrote. This is a cry for help.
