Scarlet's Book of Male Reader One-Shots

Haru Okumura - I Hate Chocolate

Today was Valentine's, a nice day where couples go out and spend a nice day with each other. It applied to all walks of life, for instance; Okumura Foods heiress Haru Okumura and Martial Artist Y/n L/n. Today was the day Y/n would stop sticking to the diet and have his body take a blow for his girlfriend and eat some chocolate with her, as is the Valentine's custom. The two lovebirds met up at the mall and perused every candy store they could find, buying the tastiest chocolate they were familiar with, strangest ones they found, and the chocolate in heart-shaped boxes. There was enough chocolate between the two of them that could feed a starving Ann.

Some of the chocolate they bought was standard milk chocolate and cookies and cream. However, their more exotic flavors they bought were really quite jarring; intense orange, chili infused, and 100% dark chocolate were but some of what they bought. Of course, you can't have just chocolate, so a nice red velvet cheesecake was bought to round off the day with a nice bow. Returning to Haru's house, they laid out their chocolate by exotic flavors first and cleansing their palette with the familiar flavors.

What follows is how both came to hate all chocolate forever and discover the horror that is the human body.

Intense Orange Dark Chocolate

Haru: Smells fruity...

Y/n: Is that supposed to be a good thing?

Haru: Let's break off a piece.

Splitting off two pieces, the two romantically fed each other the piece of chocolate. At first, there was no hint of orange, being buried underneath the chocolate. Then, their eyes lit up at the sudden orange flavor. It wasn't so off-putting, more so it was weird to taste orange in chocolate. After eating another piece, they got used to the taste and began to like it enough to finish it off. Cleansing their mouths with milk, they moved onto their next exotic flavor.

Chili Infused Dark Chocolate

Haru: This one is the one I'm most curious about.

Y/n: *sniffs chocolate* Doesn't smell spicy.

Haru: Wouldn't it melt the chocolate if it was?

Y/n: True.

Breaking pieces off and eating them, the two couldn't tell if the spice was there at first. Upon swallowing though, their tang of chili became present. It wasn't overwhelmingly spicy where they needed to breakout milk to tame the heat, but more like paprika and cayenne powder used in cooking.

Haru: Ugh, I'm feeling a bit full...

Y/n: We have to go even further beyond, Haru!

100% Dark Chocolate

Y/n: It's so black! That's not supposed to be racist.

Haru: *smells chocolate* It's so cocoa...

Taking a bite out of the chocolate bar, both Haru and Y/n were disgusted at how bitter it was. In case you didn't know, 100% Dark Chocolate came as described; chocolate and only chocolate. No sugar, no milk, only cocoa which results in its bitter taste. Why else do you think only handfuls of people like black coffee? Whether through buyer's remorse, Haru and Y/n had to push through to finish it, despite everything telling them not to.

Haru: We still...have more to go through....

Y/n: At least we can cleanse our palette with this...

Milk Chocolate/Cookies and Cream

Y/n: It just builds up...

Haru: I think...my blood...is just chocolate at this point...

It should be stated that there is such a thing called "chocolate poisoning". Whether or not Haru and Y/n were going through the symptoms right now, is up for debate. Milk Chocolate and Cookies and Cream were their favorite chocolates, but as it stands now, that's currently up for debate after three bars worth of chocolate already in their system.

Haru: *forces a piece of Cookies and Cream in your mouth* Come on...Y/n, you have to eat this...

Y/n: Papa, please...no more...

Milk Chocolate Rose

Y/n: What do you think Akira and Makoto are doing?

Haru: Not this...come on, let's split it.

It was a nice milk chocolate bar with the pattern of a rose on it. It tasted amazing, but Y/n and Haru were drunk on chocolate and slowly hating all of it. At this point, they're doing this because they committed to it and they have to see it through. It is at this point, Y/n is sprawled out on Haru's couch to give his stomach more room to fit more chocolate, if there is even space to begin with.

Y/n: The human body is horrifying!

Haru: I'm so fat! Don't look at me...

Chocolate that comes in Heart-Shaped Boxes

Y/n: Last...*burps* one...

Haru: I think all of this chocolate acts like a lubricant so that I'll slip past Heaven's gates and into Hell...

Y/n: I'm convinced at this point...hellfire is just melted chocolate...

The chocolate inside of the boxes were as follows; Strawberry crème, orange crème, caramel, chocolate caramel, and chocolate truffle. These were all relatively bite-sized pieces, easily able to be put whole inside one's mouth. Yet, Haru and Y/n were struggling with even that. With the power of human will, Y/n managed to push through and eat all of his chocolate while Haru was clearly dying in the process.

Y/n: Eat my ass...

Haru: I don't have room...

Y/n: *laughs and convulses* Oh God, I almost threw up...

Haru: Y/n...help...

Y/n: Do I have to?

Haru: Yes...

Y/n: Gimmie one then...

Through some miracle of human strength, Haru and Y/n managed to finish all of the chocolate they had bought together. Though, they came out changed people as they held each other on the couch, giving their stomachs as much room as they could so they could breathe through all of the chocolate that was suffocating them from the inside.

Haru: Y/n...can you help me work all of this off?

Y/n: Only if your promise...to make a salad...

Haru: Deal...