my friend (we'll call her um koala) : so you gay?
me: yeah im kinda done with boys
koala: so your bi?
me: no im done with boys
koala: but you said you were kinda-
me: OKAY why do you have to be literal all the time
koala: so you gay?
me: yeah
koala: but what about the d i c k
me: the d i c k?
koala: yeah the dick like your never gonna put a dick inside of you?
me: ofc not
koala : *hides her tits*
me: *eyeroll* you dont have to do that you dont have any tits
koala: stfu
koala: dont you think its weird to have a dick inside of you
me: depends
her: wdym
me: i think its weirder that if a guy cums in your ass you wont be able to get it out and it stays there
koala: oh tru
me: did you know that you can get herpes from giving guys head
koala: WAIT REALLY
me: yeah we learned it in sex e-
koala: bet
me: you better not
koala: i would totally give you head tho
me: oh
koala: yep OMYGOD NO IM ACTING LIKE YOU
me: *mocking* omygod noooo im acting like you
koala : *hits me*
me: so i saw this pickup line
koala: what is it
me: YoU kNoW hOw HoW hUmAnS aRe mAdE uP oF 75% of WaTeR? wELl DaDdYs tHiRsTy
koala : okay bottom
me: OH YOUR THE ONE TO TAL-
koala: mhhhhhhhhhhhhhm
me: okay but lowkey tho- i wanna be a boy so i could be gay
koala: *throws up*
k bye love you
i made koala homophobic btw
