FNV: dumbass disordwrz

Please Don't Take Our Sunshine Away

I'm going through a bad time and right now writing is all I have. This is a deep vent, one I really put my heart into. This is about Adam having trouble communicating. After her trauma, she has deeply rooted trust issues with relationships. It's frustrating for her as well as the ones who care about her. When you go through something so traumatic, words can mean absolutely nothing to you. You value people actually putting in the effort to be there for you no matter what. Words don't mean anything for a long time. Sometimes it becomes reoccurring. This is one of those times.

Content warning for past sexual assault mentions. It's really just a big trauma breakdown.

————————

Tension was gunpowder in the Lucky 38. When people spoke up during the tension, that was the match.

Adam was sitting silently on her bed. Not looking at the frustrated men in front of her. Staring blankly instead at her sobbing infant son in the arms of Penny Parker, who sat in a chair near the corner of the bedroom.

They were in the master bedroom of the Lucky 38, the room everyone had given to Adam out of pure pity. After she had come back ruined and hysterical, she was suddenly treated like delicate china. Given the freshest food and the nicest treasures.

Adam fucking hated pity.

"Look at me, Adam."

Boone's voice was rough. Maybe he hadn't meant it to come across as so blank, but it did. Adam flinching from the harshness.

"No." She responded, quiet but equally rough. Gripping the ends of her nightgown. Moving a hand to her hair and holding it tightly. When she was stressed, she pulled at her hair. She had to constantly cut it because of this. Any longer than past her lips and she'd yank it all out.

Arcade knew she was going to start pulling and made a slow move to take her hand away from her hair. Stopping when Adam realized this, violently pushing his hand away. Clenching and unclenching her fist.

"Why?"

The sniper snapped again. This time making Arcade wince. They were supposed to be communicating with Adam about her behavior, not interrogating her. Boone's frustrations seemed to be changing the direction of this conversation, though. And Arcade wasn't quite sure how to diffuse it, nor how exactly what to expect.

Adam didn't answer Boone's snapping, continuing to stare at Penny softly cooing to her infant son.

They wouldn't let her have her baby when she got this violent. Arcade had explained that it was common to be aggressive after trauma, especially with how recent the birth and the rescue had been. He had said it wasn't safe for Adam to hold her baby while she was aggressive. As if he was insinuating she would hurt it. What did he know? She was the ACTUAL nurse here.

She wanted her baby.

They wouldn't let her have her baby.

"I don't have to look at you. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to listen to you." Adam shot the words off her lips like bullets, watching her baby continue to cry. Before prying her eyes away and staring into Boone's sunglasses. "I don't like your words. I don't like words. You guys only give me bullshit, I don't want bullshit. You guys ARE bullshit." She rocked back and forth, before shooting up. Gripping her hair with both hands. "YOU'RE BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT-" she loudly, bitterly chanted like a child. Stomping her foot over and over.

Arcade grit his teeth, watching Boone shake in anger.

"Blondie, you need to calm down. Boone and I just want to talk. You know this is for your own good-"