How to act human for Dummies (and angels)

6 What is love?

Castiel stood there on top of the church. He glanced at the town underneath him. Considering Dean had rushed out after Castiel had rescued him from his state of stiffness, he didn't feel like he was welcome at their hunt. So he just watched the humans from above, like he had done ofttimes before. People walked along the street. Some were hurrying, some strolled along, stopping to chat with others. Cars drove by occasionally, their motors' humming. Castiel's trenchcoat flapped in the afternoon breeze.

The angel squinted his eyes, remembering his discussion with Sam. "He said Dean had visited a place called 'Narnia'". Castiel tried to remember if there existed a country named like that on planet earth. To his knowledge, there did not. "Strange," he contemplated as he tilted his head, "I will have to ask Dean about that place." Castiel looked down at the street, observing a man and a woman wander down the street, holding hands. The woman stopped at a window and pointed at something. The man snickered and gave the woman a quick peck on her lips. Castiel licked over his own lips.

"Dean. I gave him a kiss. Sam did say Dean likes me, but then why did he rush off which such a shocked face? Is a kiss not the appropriate way to wake someone? It seems not." Castiel made a mental note on his How-to-act-human list. "No kissing best friends when they zone out, OK." At that, Castiel felt a slight unease in his stomach. To be precise it was more like a plummet. Like when he had flown for the first times eons ago. Gabriel had been screaming at him to fold out his wings. The nostalgia made Castiel smile, but soon changed into a frown. "Why does the thought of not kissing my best friend make me feel this way?"

Castiel stretched out his wings. He flapped them and soon was flying over the town, relishing the view and the tuck of the strong wind in his hair. Normally, flying made him calm down, but this time it didn't work. Hs stomach still felt weird. He continued his inner monologue: "Sam had also stated, Dean needs time to sort through his emotions." Castiel thought for a moment. "Emotions, feelings, mood, temperament, personality. Deeply intertwined they make a human "feel" and act a certain way. There are: optimism, remorse, disapproval, awe, love -" His wings stuttered for a split second. "Wait, love? What is love? The greatest positive affection one person can have towards another one. Or is there more to it? Do I love someone? What types of love are there?"

Castiel had been so deeply in his thoughts, he only realised where his wings had brought him as he landed in the Motel room. He sniffed the air, inhaling the soothing scent of Winchester. Castiel felt like this smell was home. He sat down on Dean's bed, fixing his gaze on the azure wall opposite him. His hands lingered on the smooth blanket. "Is it allowed for an angel to fall in love with a human? Would it be normal? Or does liking humans, who are so very young compared to myself, make me a 'pedophile'? Wouldn't the hunters want to settle down at some point of their lives, settle down, marry a woman, and have kids?"

Castiel sighed. He looked down and knitted his hands, a habit he had adopted from the brothers. "Do I like the Winchesters? Yes. Do I love them? Yes. And no," He wrinkled his brows. Sam Winchester, the healthy eater, the 'nerd', the moose. Castiel felt a strong bond towards him, but it was more like the bond he felt towards Gabriel as well. He was like a brother.

Dean Winchester, on the other hand, was different. The blond with green eyes that captivated him with so much impact, Castiel couldn't help but stare back. His wits, the beauty of his soul and of the beauty of his human body, the vulnerability under that hard shell. The hunter that cared for others constantly, yet never gave himself a thought. The Righteous Man who didn't think he was worth more than an ant. To Castiel he was worth everything. He was the reason Castiel fell in love with humanity.

Castiel looked up, the nauseous feeling inside his stomach had disappeared. He was sure now.

"I am in love with humanity."

He smiled.

"I am in love with Dean Winchester."