Stories from the Mind of an Author

"Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight"

MILD TRIGGER WARNING

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*THUD!!!!*

My face hits the tile floor of the hallway hard and I feel something in my nose snap. Pain immediately erupts from my broken nose and tears form in my eyes as I try not to cry out. Laughs and jeers erupt from the people around me who had seen me trip, and the jerk who did it is taunting me once again.

I stand up and gather my things, trying to refrain from making eye contact with anyone, then I speed-walk towards the bathroom to clean up my face. I go into the handicapped stall at the end of the room, seeing as I have more room in there and can do more efficient first aid work, and lock it. I set my bag down on the floor and take a small first aid kit that I started carrying around when I first started high school, and get the things I'll need out of it.

After cleaning the blood off my face and setting my nose in place, with some difficulty, I put butterfly bandages on either side of the break in order to keep it in place while it heals. Then I put my first aid kit away and take out a portable foundation palette and get to work on covering the bruises, using my phone's camera as a mirror. I flinch whenever I tap the makeup sponge on my nose, but it has to be done if I don't want anyone to worry about me. Not like anyone will, anyway, but just in case.

Suddenly, I hear the bathroom door open and someone walks in. "Lexi? Are you in here?" the girl's voice asks. It's Alana, one of my only friends in this hellhole of a school.

I don't answer. I don't need her worrying about me.

After a couple minutes of silence, I hear her footsteps going towards the door, and then the door closes. Believing she's gone, I open the stall door and peek out to make sure, but jump back in surprise when a face pops into my vision.

"Aha!! I knew you were in here!" Alana says. She walks into the stall and looks at my face sternly, but her expression softens when she sees my half-done cover-up job. "It happened again, didn't it?"

I nod quietly, cowering against the opposite wall.

Alana sighs and shuts the stall door, then walks over to me and looks at my nose. "How bad is it, this time?" she asks softly.

"I-it's broken..." I whisper.

Alana sighs again. "I swear, I'm going to kill that idiot for this," she growls.

"Please don't... He'll go after you next..." I beg.

"Well I can't just stand by and watch my friend get hurt!" Alana snaps.

I flinch. That's right... Friend... That's all I am to her... I'll never be anything more... I'm so worthless... I think as I hang my head.

Suddenly, I feel Alana wrap her arms around me in a tight, yet gentle, hug. "I'm sorry, Lex... I didn't mean to snap at you..." she whispers. Her warm breath on my neck causes me to shiver slightly, quickly regretting it afterwards, because the action only makes her more worried. Alana pulls away from me and looks into my eyes. "Are you okay...? You're shaking."

I nod. "Y-yeah. I'm fine... Just a little shaken up..." I reply.

Alana sighs. She lifts her hand up and touches my chin, causing me to stiffen up. "Lexi, you don't have to lie to me... I know you're not okay... I've known you for far too long to not notice a few things..." she says. "So please... Just tell me what's wrong..."

That was all I needed for the flood gates to open on my emotions. I burst into tears and start crying into Alana's shoulder. I feel her wrap her arms around me and place her chin on my head. I don't know what possessed me to start bawling like this. Maybe it was the fact that I was so tired of hiding my pain behind a smile, or maybe it was the fact that I knew Alana would never care about me as more than a friend. Either way, I definitely feel better after I finally calm down a few minutes later. I guess crying really is a good thing.

The bell to go to our next classes ruins the moment and forces us to leave the bathroom, after I've cleaned up, of course. We walk out of the bathroom side by side, ignoring the stares and whispers from the people around us. I had decided to wash off the makeup before we left, so my broken nose is showing for everyone to see, which is probably why they're all staring. I don't care, though. Let them stare all they want. The fact that I'm still standing after all the times I've been pushed down shows that I'm worth more than the people that torment me every day, and that's enough.

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Wow... That one was a bit more emotional... The things I write about sometimes, huh?

As you probably already found out, there will be some triggering stories in this compilation, but I will be sure to put trigger warnings at the top of the page so you guys know beforehand. I know these types of stories are hard to read, so if you know you can't read one of my more depressing ones, it's ok. Don't push yourself toward the edge just to read a story, especially if you're already in a bad place. Take care of yourselves.

Ok, I'm gonna stop before this gets any more depressing.

Anyway, that's all for this week. I hope you guys liked it. I'll see you guys next Tuesday! Until then, stay nerdy, pups!