I Got You

BELLAMY.

Clarke startles awake, clutching her chest and barely catching a breath. Eyes clenched shut, trying to focus on her breathing. Breathe, Princess. The voice rings in her head and she violently shakes the sound away.

Clarke hasn't had nightmares in weeks. When she left, her dreams would torture her, but the worst was when they had Bellamy in them.

This particular one is recurrent. It always goes back to that day:

Clarke standing outside the gate.

Kissing his cheek and uttering "May we meet again".

Turning away from him.

She gets a few yards away when her heart rams against her chest.

Stay with him, it pleads.

She turns back and tries to reach him, but an invisible barrier closes in around her.

She screams for him to look back.

He continues to walk towards camp, shoulders slumped in defeat.

Clarke's vision blurs as the gates close.

SLAM! The gate slamming shut carries and fills the air.

Clarke remains; pleading with whatever is causing this to stop and to just let her curl back into his arms.

And Clarke always returns to herself when she sees herself scream out in agony for him. His name forming on her lips, sound trying to push out.

After returning to Arkadia, the nightmares settled themselves. Seeing Bellamy every day, it helps. She could remind herself that he was safe within the gates. That he was only a few tents down from hers; snug as a bug in a rug, her dad's words ring. But after Alie and learning about the impending end of the world, they decided to pick back up again.

The nightmares haven't changed yet. She pushes down the nausea that hits when thoughts of Bellamy covered in boils and spitting up blood as the air turns toxic come.

Enough. She sits up, throwing the pelts to the side, and tying up her boots. She questions if she should cover herself up with more than a tank top and a pair of sweatpants that Bellamy snagged from a bunker for her, but decides against it.

The fresh, cool, night air hits her and it calms the circling nerves. Deep breath in, Princess.

She walks quietly along the path, but her boots are incapable of not crushing the leaves and stones under her feet.

Thankfully, most of the Arkers decided to whole up in the remaining pieces of the Ark, but not the 100. They chose the tents. The Ark felt like a prison again to many. The open air provided the feelings of freedom like the drop ship despite being electro-fenced in.

Three away, Clarke reminds herself.

When she reaches the tent, she stops herself from barging in. I'll just get a peek, make sure he's safe, then go back to bed. She nods agreeing with her internal thoughts.

Slowly, she grasps the flap and quietly moves it away. The slight rustle in the night proves to be too loud for Bellamy. His eyes frantic as they scan for the intruder; right hand reaching for his knife.

"Sorry. Sorry," Clarke rushes out. She goes to leave. Stupid. Stupid. Why would you eve—Thoughts cut short by his sleep heavy voice.

"Clarke? Clarke. What is it? Who's hurt?

A tug on her heart strings. He cares so much.

She walks further into the tent and sits next to his make shift bed. His eyes are searching; for what Clarke doesn't know.

"Everything's okay. I just—," She closes her eyes trying to think of the right words. She twiddles with her thumbs, to ground her somehow when he stops the movement. His eyes have softened, but still hold a bit of worry.

"Hey," he says gently. "You can tell me. It's okay." Clarke continues to stare; only does she realizes she hasn't stopped when he gives her fingers a little squeeze.

"I—I had a nightmare... I get them sometimes... and I just," she clenches her eyes shut. Her next words barely above a whisper, "I needed to make sure you were okay."

If it were possible, Bellamy's dark eyes soften even more; melting Clarke to the spot. He tucks a stray hair behind her ear, hand lingering to gently caress her cheek. Clarke nuzzles into his palm. She lets herself have this. Have this moment.

"Come here." He scoots back, leaving room for her in his bed.

The moment is over. Her head screams ENOUGH. LEAVE NOW BEFORE YOU CAUSE YOURSELF PROBLEMS. "Bell, it's okay. I didn't mean to wake you." She goes to stand, but his hand pulls stopping her.

"Clarke. For once, can you just do what I say?"

He pats the spot next to himself. After a few seconds of worrying her bottom lip, she climbs in next to him. She lays on the edge, afraid even the slightest touch will make her come undone.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" His voice is quiet, afraid if he pushes to much she'll think better and leave him alone.

She closes her eyes. How can she tell him she's afraid to lose him? He wouldn't believe her at this point. The words have lost the meaning to him. She's proven to be untrustworthy with them. Her own voice rings in her ears, I can't lose you too. She swallows. How could she ever had been so careless with his life? Love wasn't weakness. But she listened to the advice that it was anyway.

"I can't just yet... Bell?" She turns on her side to face him, surprised to see he's in the exact position staring down at her. He nods for her to continue. In a small voice, even surprising to her, "Can I stay here?"

His eyes widen in shock and his mouth falls open slightly.

"Yeah," his voice wavers. "Of course, you can stay, Princess."

She melts at his personal nickname. Thank you quietly falls from her lips. Bellamy reaches for the pelts and covers them both.

After a minute, Clarke turns her back to him. She's still shuffled to the edge, gripping it as to not fall off. Bellamy huffs and Clarke, thinks she hears him mutter about being a difficult woman when she feels his arm snake around her. He pulls her to him, back meeting his front. She audibly sighs in relief, shuffling closer to his warmth. She finds the courage to wind her fingers with his as they rest on her stomach.

She barely feels when his lips meet the back of her head.

"I got you, Princess." The last words she hears before being carried off into a peaceful sleep.