Perfect Man

School was over and everyone was going their own way. Everyone was leaving with someone else and yet there I was, all alone. But I wasn't really alone because that was when he decided to grace me with his presence and ask me to be with him. I would have never thought that this beautiful man in front of me felt anything but hatred towards me. Who would have thought my worst enemy from that day on would become the love of my life?

I always thought he would end up with his forever crush, Beam, but I guess he found me instead. He was always so beautiful to me.  He was tall, well built and athletic. He possessed the perfect body and had silky black hair that made me want to run my hands through it. He was perfect.

I, on the other hand, was the total opposite. I was ugly and scrawny. It made me wonder why he liked me.

My life with him was blissful and always eventful. He took me places, bought me things, cooked for me, and made me feel loved. He was the perfect man.

Or so I thought.

It had been about 2 years now and I was still with him. Yet, so many things have changed since our first year and a half together. He changed. He was still beautiful. He was still the man I love but he changed.

He started to drink and to come home late. He would always say, "Work's been hectic." I would always believe him because he was perfect.

One day I needed to go to Siam to buy a gift for him for our anniversary. That's when I saw them. They were laughing, holding hands and kissing at the ice cream store that he took me to on our first date. My heart stopped at the sight of them. Seeing my man kissing my now most hated enemy. Seeing him so happy broke my heart. It had been months since he had smiled at me like that. Tears started to blur my vision and I immediately turned to walk away.

My ears were red and irritated from what seemed like hours of crying. It hurt to see his beautiful face kissing another man. That image was now stuck in my mind forever. I fell asleep with it still in my head.

Hours later, he popped in, smelling like alcohol and sex. Not bothering to wash, he laid next to me as if there was no one else but me. It made me want to throw up when he started to put his arms around me. It made me feel like a whore that would be at home waiting for him after he had sex with another man. He fell fast asleep, yet I could not. The way he smelled
made me gag and eventually, I ran to the bathroom to empty what little dinner I had in me.

I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled sadly at myself. No wonder he was sleeping with another man. I was ugly and repulsive even I didn't want myself. I slept on the couch that night.

When I woke up the next day the house was quiet and empty. He had left before I woke up, and it was not even 7 yet. Did he not want to see me that much? Why couldn't he just break up if I was interfering with his life? Was I not worth breaking up with? Was I too worthless for even that consideration?

That was when I broke down. I realized that I was worth cheating on. I was not worthy of an explanation. I was worthless and that was why my perfect man left me. I was so worthless that I would continue to live this way. I would continue to not acknowledge his cheating. I would continue to play the role of a whore who waits for his man while he was off fucking another. I would continue to love this perfect man. I would continue to be Mingkwan Daichapanya, a coward that would continue to live life this way. A man who fell for someone who was way out of his league. A man who fell for the all too perfect, Forth Jaturpoom.