Too Much To Hide || EDITING

c.16

      As soon as I'm in the bedroom, I finally find solace and let the tears run freely down my face. It feels so refreshing, not having to hold them back anymore. I have my privacy and I can cry as much as I want to, away from demanding mothers and prying eyes. Feeling breathless, I collapse onto the bed, burying my head in my hands. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

      For what feels like hours, I keep crying until I have burnt out my tears and my energy. Finding my balance, I get back up from the mattress and travel over to the window that looks out over the garden. It's smaller from up here but the beauty still remains.

      I hug my elbows, having only myself to look to right now. I appreciate Adrian fighting back on my behalf but his mother's concerns aren't surprising. It all makes sense, everything leading up to this moment. I do look like someone searching for money but... A fresh wave of tears spill onto my cheeks. I don't want money.

      I hear the opening of the door but I keep my gaze straight and unfocused through the window, my now red eyes stinging from crying so much. This is shameful, I don't like crying. Yet, here I am.

      "Elizabeth," Adrian's voice calls out gently but I don't turn. He can't see me like this, broken and vulnerable for the first time in so long. 

      A soft grip on my elbow turns me around one hundred and eighty degrees until I'm facing him. I hang my head, still feeling immensely under the weather. My eyes stare at the several stalks of wool in the carpet through my blurry vision, just anything other than him.

      "Look at me," he says quietly, both his hands resting on my arms. 

      Maintaining whatever little strength I have, I shake my head and shut my eyes tightly to stop the waterworks. A warm hand places itself on my jaw and tilts my head up until I meet Adrian's dull gaze, void of his usual cocky behaviour. Instead they're intense with emotion—sad emotion—as he searches mine. 

      I feel embarrassed and weak. What—with burning red, tear stained cheeks and watery, bloodshot eyes, I feel like a punished child. A punished child who just had her character questioned by a high class woman.

      "They're gone," he whispers, still gazing at me.

      "Where's James?" My voice cracks as I ask and I realize how parched I am.

      "He's asleep downstairs, don't worry about him," his gaze drops for a moment before coming back up to my eyes again. 

      "I didn't think—"

      I shut my eyes and sigh, interrupting him. 

      "There's no point in explanation. You're obviously not to blame." I croak out. Another tear runs down my cheek.

      Instead of letting it fall, Adrian uses the pad of his thumb to stop its trail, wiping it away before it can reach my chin. The gesture burns my skin and sets my heart off on a marathon. His other hand drops from my arm and rests on my hip. 

      "You didn't have to hear any of that bullshit," he sucks a quick breath through his teeth, "I'm sorry."

      I open my mouth a few times to say something but words fail me as my eyes flutter shut, suddenly cracking under the pressure. A soft sob escapes my lips as my hands fly up to my face in order to cover my shame and weakness.

      "God, Liz," he mumbles and brings me into his chest, wrapping his arms around my shoulder.

      I make no effort to pull away from the hug so I bury my face into the nape of his neck, my hands still covering my tear ridden exterior. My shoulders shake with muffled cries but Adrian doesn't seem to mind, rubbing my back with the palms of his hand.