SOOBIN | REMINISCENCE.

heartbreak

not only did beomgyu's heart break, your heart broke miyoung.

my angel, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to do anything wrong. all i wanted to do was help out a friend.

i was vulnerable and you hated that. i hated it as well. i could've turned away instead. i should've refused the drink she offered me. that way, i wouldn't have been drugged.
i shouldn't have picked up her call.

i wouldn't have been high.
i wouldn't have hurt you or beomgyu.

i literally broke your heart.

i couldn't take care of you. you were in a fragile state and all i did was shatter you.

after i came clean about what happened with areum, your heart rate increased. your watch started beeping. all you did was panic and cry in front of me as i tried calming you down.

there was so much hurt and anger evident in your eyes.

you let your tears fall as you started turning pale. you were getting stressed, you exasperated yourself.

all i could do was encourage you to breathe slowly and wipe your tears away. you refused for some time and just curled yourself into a ball at one corner.

i explained to you once more on what happened and you returned small nods in response.

your sobs slowly stopped as you sniffled quietly.

i put my hands on my head as i swiftly wiped my tears away.

"it's not your fault baby," you said this sadly.

"it was hers, she took advantage of your kindness. it's not your fault okay?" you continued as you approached me weakly, your eyes were bloodshot and puffy.

you hugged me with your limp arms and i let my tears fall. after all the chaos, you didn't push me away nor did you leave.

you stayed and forgave me. i hated myself for hurting someone so pure and loving as you.

after a while, the watch you wore to monitor your heart beat started beeping again.

instead of your heart rate increasing, the numbers were decreasing. i turned my head to see you laying on my lap. you were turning paler by the second, it worried me.

"miyoung?" i sniffled as i gently shook you awake. there was no response from you.

i quickly carried you in my arms and out of your house.

i had to get you to the hospital fast.

in those moments, all i felt was the fear of losing you, miyoung.