You know I've always considered myself a good person.
Flawed yes, but good, kind, nice, or loving with a big heart. I have actually taken great pride in the fact that I have a big heart. However not for boastful reasons not to brag but just you know as a matter of fact. I'm the kind of guy that will gladly give you the shirt off my back will gladly give you something that if it is within my power to give without a seconds hesitation will hand it over. Mind you except for my cell phone be it a permanent Exchange. Now for some context I have recently moved to a new city where I have some extended family: cousins,uncles, aunts that I used to always have what I considered a very nice and loving relationship with. Well it has been pointed out recently and I have found out and been verified that after a bit of a falling out after a bit of a little bit of drama which I always figure you know drama comes and goes it shouldn't be anything you know to permanent or drastic but these people along with their closest friends have begun to ostracize me exclude me and isolate me From them and their familial activities social activities and everything in between.
mind you I am a very sociable person I for my own emotional and mental health stability required friends and constant social activities then be the curse of the extroverts what I have recently found out is that this isolation this segregation this ostracizing if they have subjected me to has been intentional and with the sole manipulator Purpose and intention of getting me to move away The realization of this did not make me angry or upset like I imagine most people would be but instead made me feel yes a lil hurt mostly sorry for them.
I have been reflecting on my reaction to the situation I'm the kind of person that believes you're not nice to someone because they're nice to you that you're not a good person, or a friendly one or loving because it's convenient. I believe that the best time you should be that way is when it isnt convenient and that's when it is needed the most in the situations when it is most inconvenient would it be for yourself or the other person.
Anyways that's just how I view things and it's kind of shocking to see that so many other people don't view things that same way or even remotely close to that and it's not a bad thing they're not bad people they're just different mind sets they have a different mindset a mindset that my more harsh judge mental self agrees with. but like I said I am a flawed man so in moments of weakness my imperfect side peeks and rears its ugly head and I have those thoughts if only for a second the moral of the story is not that I'm doing this to brag or the flaunt anything it could seem that way hell it kind of feels that way but really the sadness that I feel the hurt that I feel even though not damaging even though temporary does make things a bit difficult so I am writing this more for self reaffirmation more or less for ranting not blaming or anything like that. Anyways thank you for your time.
