Cut You A Piece

3

It had been... a month? Stone had no idea. He had lost track of time weeks ago and only ever went out once every time he was low on stuff at home. Asides that he stayed cooped up in his home. He was lying in bed only in boxers as he looked at the ceiling with a blank stare. He was officially emotionally numb. He was finally able to rid of all the feelings he had before. Everything was now just a blank slate.

Stones hands reached for a bottle of whiskey he had on his night stand. Alcohol was now his go to. It was there when he needed it at the began and he was damn sure it was gonna be there until the end. As he reached for it though, he accidentally knocked something else off the nightstand.

He looked over to see a certain pair of shades. He picked them up and observed them. He knew exactly who they belonged to. Stone felt tears begin to stain his cheeks without his command. Now there were other factors to his emotions. One of them being love. Unrequited he would add. Now love was getting involved more than ever.

The drinking may have helped him bury his feelings, but now his deep feelings were begining to peek out. Insecurities he never had until now  were going to haunt him along with everything else. He placed the glasses down on the night stand as he hugged himself into a tight ball and sobbed.

This had become common for him, but everytime it hurt. No matter what, it always hurt. Once he was done, he felt his stomachs growl. He decided to get out of bed and went to look for food to eat. He opened the fridge only to see it fairly emptied. Stone sighed knowing that this meant he would have to go out. Something he feared of doing for a week now. He took deep breaths as he went and got into something more presentable. Once done so, he went and grabbed his keys and wallet before leaving the home. He say in his car and was about to put the key in when he saw how shaky his hand was. Stone shook it off and turned the engine on and drove to the nearby store.

Inside the store, he grabbed some items and placed them in the cart silently not wanting to draw any attention to himself. Once he got everything, he went to check out. All the self-check out lanes were taken so he was forced to go to a regular check out lane just to get out of the place quickly.

When he got to the lane, he began to put his groceries on the lane." Hello!" Said the cashier. When Stone went and looked at the cashiers face, it was blurry and blocked by a black scribble to him. He couldn't see their face properly. He didn't know why they looked like that to him. He looked at everyone else around him and it was the same result.

He sighed and continued what he was doing as he said," hi."

His emotions were immediately blocked as the conversation continued.

" How was your shopping?" The cashier asked with...a smile? He couldn't tell.

" It was fine, thank you for asking." He said with a fake smile that took more energy than he thought to pull off.

They were silent except for the usual instructions like, insert your card, would you like a receipt, etc. Once that was over, Stone took his groceries into his car and just say there for a bit. That was so stupid. Stone hid his face in his hands for a bit before starting the car and driving home.

Once Stone got home, he brought all the groceries into his kitchen. He placed it all on the counter and began to put the items up. As he did so, he began to notice two items he brought. Milk and espresso mix. Stone felt his hands clench into fists when he knew what those items were for. He quickly hid those items away and went back to putting everything else up.

As he did so thought, memories of all of the doctors compliments of his lattes began to flood his mind.

'Of course I want one, i love the way you make them!'

'Go make us some of your brilliant lattes Stone.'

Now that the doctor was gone, that skill felt useless. He made himself a very small dish and ate it fairly quickly.  He put the dish in the sink amongst the mess and went back to his room changing back to his boxers. He laid in his bed and grabbed the whiskey on his bed side taking a swig of it. With that he went numb again and let his mind run rampant with insults to himself. He was getting use to them? That sounded bad in itself but Stone didn't care anymore. The doctor was gone and he basically had no job for the time being. Might as well waste it all.

He got up and moved through out the house slightly wobbly from the whiskey as he made his way to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror to only see the same thing he saw at the grocery store. A blurred scribbled face instead of his own. That's when he began to yell.

"You're so damn useless!" It started off." Couldn't even be by his side when he disappeared! You could've been there to help him, but you weren't! Now he's gone because you weren't there to take the fall for him!"

He felt the tears fall from his face and he continued to insult himself. After some time, he looked into the sink with blurry vision. He covered his face with his hands as he continued to sob at how weak he was being. When he finished, he went back to his room and passed out in his bed as the noise continued to cloud his mind.