Quotes that are relatable for me

Rant

Sorry that I'm about to waste your time 

I didn't want to bother anyone I know so...

I feel horrible I have committment issues I can't keep friends if I do they're toxic I had a great friend who was so nice yet we fell apart yet I have a friend for 5 years shes horrible she laughed in my face when I built up the courage to tell her I'm depressed. Yet I couldn't stop being friends with her because I have known her for so long and if I let go of her I let go of part of my childhood yet I want to yell at her "WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE" so badly. Back to the committment issues I have lost so many friends the people a year older than me the group 1 year younger because I grew apart from them. I can't help it I want to stop I do but no matter how hard I try I can't. I love my friends and family I do but I have a problem. Another thing that I'm scared of is the repeating occurrence of my therapists telling me to take anti depressants because my mom refuses to get me anti depressants because that's never worked out for our family one person can't even walk right because of all the medicine. And I'm scared all the different therapist I go to will say the same thing "It's a chemical in your brain that allows you to have all these sad emotions there's medicine that can help you it's not addictive" that's not the problem people aren't addicted to the chemicals they are addicted to feeling normal to being happy. She also said I didn't buy medicine for your brother's autism so I'm not buying you medicine for your depression. That makes me feel guilty cuz i'm being selfish when I should help him with what I can not think about only me