seasons (jongtae)

winter

In winter we found love.

It was a simple love but to me it was everything. He held my hand in those icy cold nights and he warmed me with tender hugs. Being with him was enough for me. He was there, that's all i need but it wasn't. I didn't know this until later on in our tragic love tail. We found love when it was hopeless, we found love in the darkest pits of world where people like us were chewed and spat out. But his love was enough right?

"Taemin you okay?" He asked rubbing his thumb across my hand. I smiled weakly "yeah i am fine" I said giving him a reassuring squeeze. The night air seemed sharper tonight as it sucked the heat from our frail bodies.
He looked towards the sky. There was a hopeful shine in them that I rarely saw. "You know taemin one day we are going to leave this place and we will find a little house in the countryside where people will never tell us how to live and we shall live off the land" he said a smile playing on his chapped lips.
I knew all of his words were lies that floated away in the night air but something about the way he looked at the sky made me believe that maybe we stood a chance. Maybe we did.

He looked at me smiling with tears in his eyes and my heart felt like it was being choked and I placed my hands on his face "why are you crying?" I said trying to hold back my own. "Because I have a feeling that my dream will never come true and that maybe one day you will get up and gl somewhere far away... somewhere I cant follow you" his said his voicing hitching at the last few words. I looked him straight in the eye "I assure you it will not be me that runs away.... and you never know one day we might just have enough money" I said each word stabbing me sharply as I lied to him.

We would never make it far enough and we would never have the money. The world is cruel like that. It nurtures the evil and neglects the good.

He held me in his arms and the cold bench didn't seem so uncomfortable anymore and I looked at the stars with him .

Falling in love in our situation was a recipe for disaster but somehow we couldn't help ourselves. We both craved the comfort of a warm loving hand and a friendly smile when the world seemed to turn itself against us. We craved the one thing we were both neglected from birth and that was love.

No one ever tells you how much love can me. Being loved and loving are two completely different things, but to love and be loved is something only few can truly feel. The only problem which poses our love the most is that we are constantly moving and one day we won't be able to move together. What shall I do then?
Will he ever come back for me? Or will he forget me and find another?

My heart ached and he looked at me "is something wrong?" He asked. "Just a little cold" I said shivering slightly. He pulled at one of his spare blankets and placed it on me. "Wont you be cold?" I asked worry lacing through my words. He just smiled that stupid smile that reassured me but I knew was completely lying to me "I am warm knowing you are warm" he said holding me tighter. I tried my best to share the blanket but it was small for one person.

He laughed "you just take it" he said. He looked at me his eyebrows slightly raised "how about a song?" He asked. I nodded and he began to sing a soft melody which gently rocked me to sleep.

I was awoken by a deep voice. It had a menacing and almost annoying twang to it which ripped me from my sleep swiftly and fatally. 

Jonghyun had sat in front of me protecting me from this mysterious man. The man smirked his yellow teeth glowing in the light. He reached for me but jonghyun got in the way. This resulted in jonghyun receiving a heavy blow to the face. Jonghyun sputtered and spat a mouthful of blood. His eyebrows still raised in a cocky way which he used to hide his fear.

I found myself clinging to his clothes and his breath seemed a little my heavier than usually. "Why? Why are you doing this to us?" I asked. The man smirked and looked at me "because you my beauty owe me money" he said. I shook my head "impossible paid back all my fees and that was why he let me go" I said. He pulled out a cigarette and lighted it and breathed out the chemicals after one bould puff of air.