Behind Steel Bars

CHAPTER 10

((22 hours until execution))
Jonathan-
I've been writing a lot lately. They gave me a journal and I've been writing all about what I've done. I've written about my time as an assassin, then the boss of a gang. I wrote about prison life and how I became top dog. Then about how I became a mass murderer and why.

"Yo! Denis! It's yard time." The guard yells to me. I get off my bed and follow him outside.
Bruce is waiting for me by the weights. No one else is around.
"So tomorrow is the big day."
"Yep."
"Heard you finally talked to Vanoss."
I told Bruce all about how we used to play video games together.
"Yeah. It was hard. All I wanted was to be loved and love him, it seems whatever I want I can't have."
"Enough of that doubting shit. It won't get you anywhere. Plus you have control over what you're eating for lunch tomorrow. That's something." He's trying to make me feel better, but the weight on my chest continues to drown me. "Who's gonna be there?"
"Evan and a guy from my old gang, Cartoonz."
He nods slowly.
"Well my man, I wish you the best of luck."
Luck has nothing to do with this.

Evan-
As I walk out of the prison, I wipe my tears. If only I hadn't left the room that night. He wouldn't be behind bars again.
It's my fault. It's all my fault.

I sigh and drive to Tyler and Craig's house.
They just recently got engaged. I walk into the house to see them making out. My heart drops. I'll never be able to kiss Jonathan again.
I'll never be able to hold him in my arms.
He hasn't even died yet and I feel like he's gone.
I was kind of surprised that he wanted to see me today. Shit, he didn't just want to see me. He wanted closure.

Tyler notices me and pulls away from Craig.
"How'd it go?" He asks while walking over to me.
"He let me see him today."
"How is he?"
"His eyes were sunken and dull. He told me he was afraid." The tears begin falling once again. Tyler takes me into his arms.
"It's going to be okay Evan." I shake my head.
"It's like he's already gone. I didn't even kiss him! I didn't get to kiss him goodbye!"
I straight out bawl.
I can't breathe.

"Evan it's okay."
"It's my fault! It's all my fucking fault!" I sink to the floor in agony.
"Evan it's not your fault."
Even though he says it, I don't believe it. I'll never believe it wasn't my fault.

((18 hours till Execution))
Jonathan-
Bruce and I sit down to Dinner. I'm the first one to get my food, me being top dog and all.
Every inmate walks by my table and gives me their dessert. This is a very grand gesture since we don't have many luxuries here. It's a sign showing they are with me. That they will miss me.

I eat in silence. I eat as much of the dessert as I can, then give the rest to my closest friends in here. Bruce gets most of it.
When we get back to the unit, Bruce and I hang out in my cell. I'm bouncing a rubber ball against the wall.

"Are you afraid of dying?" I sigh.
"That's not why I'm scared. I'm scared for the person I'm leaving behind." I answer softly.
"I'm sorry about the whole situation. At dinner it seemed like everyone is going to miss you."
"I'd do anything to get my freedom back. I'd do anything to be with him again." I shove the emotions far below in my mind. I must be strong now.

((10 hours till execution))
Evan-
"Jonathan wants us to be there for the execution." I tell Luke as I take a drink of my beer.
"I'll definitely be there. A lot of the gang members will be at the funeral. I hope you know that." He responds.
"I'm aware. I just wish we could help him." He shakes his head.
"There's nothing we can do. That prison is too high security. If he was at any other prison I could've pulled something off, but not there."
I swish the beer around the glass then set it on the bar.

"I'm not okay Luke." I look him in the eye. "I don't know what I'm going to do without him."
He orders a couple of shots then turns to me.
"I'll be staying with you for a bit. I promised Delirious I'd take care of you."
"When did he ask you to do that?" I cough after taking my shot.
"After you guys broke up. I've kept my eye on you for years."
"Fucking stalker." I mumble under my breath. I take a deep breath. "I'm going to go home and sleep. They told us to be there at 8:45." He nods and then we head out of the bar.

((3 hours till execution))
Jonathan-
They bring in a tray with everything I asked for for my last meal. My heart starts racing. I gave my instructions to Bruce last night. I'll be in isolation until it's time. I play with my hot food for a bit. I can't eat yet. I have too many thoughts racing through my head. I grab a pen and paper.

My dearest Evan Fong,
I know I made life difficult for you. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry I kept making the same damn mistakes. I promise if there is an afterlife, I will be watching over you. I am not afraid of dying. I've taken too many lives to care about that. However, I do care about you. I need you to be strong. I don't want you running off a cliff trying to get to me. I know you Evan. When you get depressed you don't think rationally. I am afraid that my death may make you depressed. Please don't be. I regret what I did, but I earned this. I deserve this. I love you Evan. Don't you ever fucking forget that. I love you.
Yours Truly,
Jonathan Denis 🖤

I set down the pen and notice a tear drop fall on the paper. This is it. This is the end. I fold the paper in half.
"Could you give this to Evan Fong after my... well you know." I give the letter to my guard, then go back to eating. I don't think I've ever felt so fat.

((1 hour till execution))
Evan-
They let Cartoonz and I into a room with a one way mirror. They're getting everything ready for the lethal injection.  My heart is aching.
One of the guards explains everything to Luke and I. Like how it works. He assures us that he won't suffer, but I know he will. I'm not stupid.
There is no such thing as a painless death in this case.
"You going to be okay?" Luke asks me. I stare at the chair.
"No. I won't be."

((Time skip- execution))
Jonathan-
They hand cuff me one last time and we walk down to the chamber. They escort me to the chair and begin strapping me down. My heart is racing and I feel like it's getting harder to breathe.
I don't want to die.

I look and see a window. Evan... Luke... they came. A hint of a smile crosses my face, but the rough edge of a strap against my arm brings me back to reality. They tie my arm down so I can't pull it away. My eyes are trained on Evan.

I never knew how precious life was until my own life was being taken. I would've done so much differently. I lean my head back against the chair. I watch as they prep the needle which will be my demise. It's ready.

"Jonathan Denis. Do you have any last words?" Some preacher asks me.
"I love you Evan." I'm shaking."I will always love you." A tear drips down my face. "I'm sorry." The last two words barely whispered.

They press the needle against my vein and I clench my fist. They push on the plunger and I feel a very intense burning sensation and I clench my teeth. Tears stream down my face.
I wish Evan would jump in and stop them Or Luke would bring the whole gang and get me out of here, but like I said before. I'm a gang leader. I don't believe in fairytales. Everything starts to go dark. I'm so tired...
"I'm sorry." I whisper before I go unconscious.

Evan-
His body goes limp.
"No!" I push against the one way mirror. It goes dark and I can't see him anymore. "no!" I pound against the glass over and over. It takes Luke and two guards to get me out of the room. The door down the hall opens and one of the executors exits. I run for it.
I manage to get inside and I see Jonathan's lifeless body. I sink down next to his side.
"No..." the guards haul me out of the room.
The love of my life is gone. This time he's gone for good.

((Time skip- funeral))
The funeral was good. There's a lot of people I don't know. I watch as Someone goes to the front and takes the diamond earrings out of Jonathan's ears. I'm confused and slightly insulted until he takes out a diamond earring that's three times the size of the one he had on. He switches the earrings and walks over to me.
"Evan Fong I presume?" I nod. It's one of the guys from the heist.

He holds out his hand and drops the original earrings into my hand. He walks away without another word. I hold the earring tight.
"You alright Evan?" Luke says to me. I look him straight in the eye. I feel a tear run down my face. I've had many tears lately.
"I will be."
And with that, I walk over to Jonathan and kiss him on the mouth.
"Goodbye my love."
I leave the funeral home and don't look back. Everything I do from now on, is for him. I clutch the last letter he ever wrote in my hand.
I am forever his.