We're Okay

Chapter 11

Zayn

He woke up with Liam beside him, and for a moment he thought he was still asleep. He closed his eyes and willed the dream to stay, willed the even breathing of Liam beside him not to change, and the warmth of his arm around Zayn’s waist not to move.

And then Liam’s arm tightened around him, and he whispered, “You awake?” His voice was rough and low with sleep, and made warmth pool in Zayn’s stomach.

A moment later he realized that, yeah, he actually was awake. And this was real. And Liam was there, touching him, sleeping beside him. Last night had actually happened. He’d actually told Liam things that he’d never even really said to Louis. Sure, Louis knew them, but not because Zayn had ever shared them with him.

Zayn blinked open his eyes to find Liam’s on him, wide and a bit out of focus. He yawned, covering his mouth, and Zayn felt impossibly warm, not just because he figured the sun was beating down on the tent, or because of the blanket as well as Liam’s body heat.

“You’re still here,” Zayn said quietly, reaching up a hand to brush it over Liam’s eyebrows, and then down his cheekbones, over his lips, across the light smattering of stubble on his jaw.

“Of course,” Liam said lightly, frowning at him. “Where else would I be?”

Zayn shrugged because he couldn’t explain to Liam that a small part of him will probably always be convinced that Liam’s not going to be there. Instead, he put a hand on Liam’s hip, slid it up under the shirt a bit, fingers ghosting over his ribs, and said, “Back to bed?”

Liam shook his head. “Can’t,” he admitted. “Once I’m up, I’m up.”

Zayn groaned and pulled him closer. “Come on, Liam.”

Liam sighed and moved closer, tucking his head into the crook of Zayn’s neck. His breath warmed Zayn’s skin, and he couldn’t help but move his hips a little closer, wanting them pressed up against each other in every way possible. He was still trying to figure this out, still trying to wrap his brain around it, but he thought he could breathe much easier if Liam was pressed up against him.

“You make a very compelling argument,” Liam said against his neck when Zayn’s nails scratched over his back.

Zayn sighed contentedly and pulled back a bit, finding Liam’s eyes bright and alert. “You’re not going to fall back asleep, are you?”

Liam shook his head, and his eyes slowly slide down Zayn’s body, half concealed by the blanket. “We don’t have to sleep, though.”

Zayn bit down on his bottom lip. He wanted to. God, he really wanted to pin Liam down and memorize every inch of skin under his fingertips first, and then his tongue. He wanted to hear every gasp and sigh and moan slip between Liam’s lips and tuck them away, keeping them forever. But he couldn’t. Not yet. He had a lot to make up for, and he hadn’t earned that yet. And he didn’t want to give Liam the impression that the only thing Zayn wanted him for was sex.