Narry One Shots

Goodbye Agony

It's hard, it's so hard being in love with your best mate that just happens to be your band mate, I've always knew I was gay, my school life was horrendous because of me coming out as gay. I was bullied constantly, beaten by my own father, it even went to rape. My own father raped me when I was 12, it was the worst thing imaginable, Rape is one thing but by my own flesh and blood is another and took it that step further than it just being rape, it was a way of my father telling me he hates me, that he was disgusted in me and that I wasn't a part of the family. My mother died in a car crash when I was 10, it was my fault obviously, that's what my father said anyway. I should introduce myself shouldn't I? Well my name is Niall James Horan and I am now 21 years old. I was born in Mulingar Ireland and lived with my mum, dad and brother. When my mum died that's when my dad started with the beatings. My brother Greg was in the army at the time but when he caught my dad beating me, he moved me to Dublin with him and his wife Denise. When I was 16 I auditioned for the X-Factor. And that's where I am today. I'm with the people I've grown to love over these four years. Also known as Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik and Harry Styles the guy I'm absolutely in love with.

Me and harry have clicked from the very beginning, we've always been close. I first started getting feelings for him when we did our third
Video diary. The only person that knows is Zayn. I didn't mean to tell him, it just kind of came out one day. I couldn't hold it in and I just blurted it out!!

Anyway back to reality- it's 2am and I'm laid in my bunk on the tour bus wide awake, I've never been able to sleep lately and I miss home a lot. I know I had a terrible child hood but it's not that, that I miss, I miss the surroundings, my favourite little place I had there. Today is also my mums 11th year anniversary of her death and I really wanted to visit her grave but I can't as were in America and we've got a concert tonight. I guess that could be why I'm awake. I just miss her so much.

I sit up and bring my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and putting my face down on top of my knees, letting the sobs take over my body. It's hard sometimes, there's days where I can feel myself slowly drifting away from reality and then there's days where I'm happy, bright and I'm messing around with the boys. I guess I have my off days and then days where I just forget about everything.

I feel someone's arm wrap around my body and pull me into their lap and then wrap the other arm around me. I'm guessing one of the boys but I don't really care who, I just let them hold me while I keep sobbing. I just miss my mum so much. And I just want to be able to visit her but I can't and that hurts so god damn much.

"Shhh Nialler, it's ok, I'm here, shh, calm down" I heard that thick Cheshire accent say.

So It's harry that's holding me then. It's normally Zayn or Liam. I guess they didn't hear me then.

Harry rocks me slightly and runs one of his hands through my hair, whispering in my ear that he's got me. It does calm me down quite a bit and i can slowly feel myself drifting to sleep.

When I wake up I expected harry to be gone but he still had a hold of me while on his phone. I shift a little bit and sit up a little bit so I'm comfy.

"Hey Ni, you ok?" Harry questions

Instead of answering him I just shake my head and put my head on his shoulder. He locks his phone and puts it in his pocket and then runs a hand through my hair while his other arm goes back around my waist.

"What's wrong?" He questions again.

The thing is over the four years we've been in a boyband together they know nothing about my past at all. Not a single thing. So I guess it's time to come clean to at least one of them.

"A lot of things are wrong" I answer him. I take a deep breath and just pour out everything about what happened back home. About school, my mum, my 'dad' and how my brother saved me from the monster I know as my 'farther.' He just sat there and listened to me, calming me down when I started crying and telling me to take my time.

After I had told him everything he just pulled me into his chest and let me snuggle into his chest. He kept running his hand through my hair and told me when we had time off he would come with me to see my mums grave.

I felt like I had a load of weight come off my chest now that I've let it all out. I feel more free then I did before.

The thing harry didn't know was that I had these feelings for him. And with him here right now they were just growing stronger and stronger.

After a while of just sitting there I moved a little and looked up at harry and gave him a soft smile. He gave me a soft smile back and put his hand on my cheek wiping away the tears that where on my face.

His face seemed like it was getting closer to mine, I felt his breath on my lips and his eyes drifted down to my lips and then back up to my eyes. His eyes slipped closed and his face was closer to mine. He opened his eyes again and smiles and then closes his eyes again and his lips where on mine.

I was frozen for a few seconds. Harry is kissing me. HARRY FLIPPING STYLES IS KISSING ME.

I felt his lips move against mine and my lips finally co-operated.

His tongue licked at my bottom lip and I opened up my mouth letting his tongue roam around my mouth.

His hands moved to my waist and my arms went around his neck.

We continued to kiss, ok, maybe it was a snog. He bit on my bottom lip and pulled away so we could breathe, with my bottom lip still in-between his teeth. He let go of my bottom lip and put his forehead against mine, both of us panting.

He smiled at me then pecked my lips a few times. He kept his hands on my hips and I kept my arms around his neck.

We sat like that for a couple of minutes before he softly whispered "God, I've wanted to do that since the day I met you."

I blushed slightly and giggled, yes I giggled get over it.

He smiled and chuckled and then said something I never thought I would ever hear.

"Be my boyfriend Nialler?"

I nodded and smiled wide and whispered a "yes."

Harry smiled and hugged my tightly while I hugged him tightly back.

The worst day of my life is now also the best day of my life.

I can now call Harry Styles mine.

| Hey guys, it's been a while, I've been working on this for about a month so I hope you guys like it, these are not real events, and it's all just my imagination, but I hope you guys will like it |