Chill'nt

Shopping Trip

       It's a gloomy morning per usual. 

       Shoppings gotta be done.

      Jesus and Jerry Seinfeld pull up to the checking isle. Satan, the cashier, asks "Will this be all?" Jerry Seinfeld replies with a "ｙｅs " as Jesus reaches desperately for the pack of fruit-flavored mentos, trying to steal them quickly by stuffing the goods into his pocket. 

       Suddenly, Vinny bursts out of the men's room, zipping up his fly saying "Jerry Seinfeld is dumb." Jerry Seinfeld then reaches into his purse and pulls out a Glock-17. Satan yawns and pulls out Geometry Dash on his phone. Jerry Seinfeld pulls the trigger twice, as Vinny does a matrix-Esque dodge, avoiding the bullets. Vinny dives towards Jerry Seinfeld, with switch knife in hand. Vinny stabs Jerry Seinfeld in the shoulder, who was shooting everywhere desperately. Jesus stares in horror... as a pack of mentos gets yeeted across the room with a bullet. Satan stares at the fight and casually checks out their items as if nothing was going on. Like nothing out of place was happening, I mean... it wasn't- so why would he? This is a classic family-friendly Tuesday afternoon. Jerry Seinfeld drops to the ground with a scream. Satan replies in a depressed, void-like voice- "debit or credit?" 

        All of a sudden, Sans burst through the gardening department, floating towards Vinny. He says in his typical bad boi voice, "Hey what's up it's me sans. I've got a bone to pick with you, Vinny." Vinny screams at the top of his lungs like a schoolgirl, "WHAT?!?!?" Sans hurdles towards him, as Vinny attempts to escape as Jesus takes the whole box of mints and gets the hell out of there. Satan watched him do so -merely inches from him- and did absolutely nothing. Why would he? It's not like catching Jesus is paying his taxes. He's trying to get paid with minimal effort here!

        Sans did a number on Vinny and for some reason, also Jerry. They got back to their shared apartment and saw Jesus eating all the stolen mints while making a worm-on-a-string-crown and bracelet, as well as a pair of neon Chernobyl green plastic baby earrings for himself and his stray ginger cat, Paprika. The two shook their heads uniformly at the old dude in crocs, who hadn't noticed them yet. 'What a zoomer-like boomer.' They thought to themselves in unison.

-End of chapter one-

Lots o' this is from my friend Sam's big brain. He's got some interesting ideas in there I'm glad I could share.

                                                                                                                                                                    ~Lemon