Back To You || Chaennie

I

March 27, 2023

Jennie's POV:

"We're almost there, Miss," the driver says from the front seat.

My only response is a small nod, even though he's not even looking into the rearview mirror. I use the palms of both my clammy hands to smooth out the wrinkles in the little black dress that clings to my thighs, as if the act of doing so will also get rid of my nerves.

I pull out my compact mirror and tube of dark red lipstick for touchups before arriving, and when I look at my reflection, I pause as I see the anxiety radiating out of my lifeless eyes. They haven't been the sharp black they once were for a while now, not since a few months before Blackpink split, not since Rosé and I broke up.

It takes a few seconds before I snap out of my thoughts of the brown-eyed girl, but I shake my head quickly and take one more quick look at my make up to make sure it's perfect. As I snap my mirror closed and tuck it back into my clutch, the car comes to a stop in front of the club.

I can already feel the bass from the music thumping inside the building and there are spotlights out front, signaling that this is the place to be. Of course Lisa would go all out for her 25th birthday party. She's come so far from when she used to get very nervous before every performance and the three of us had to comfort her and encourage her to do her best.

It's a common occurrence, thinking about my time spent with the group. But that's not surprising really, considering they were such a huge part of my life for so many years. Not a day goes by where I don't think about them and the memories we created. Even if it's something as small as seeing a specific brand of whipped cream and remembering the time Lisa got almost an entire can on Jisoo's face while she slept and Rosie and I laughing while we watched, or seeing a movie on TV while Rosie and I held hands under the blanket.

And that's how my train of thought always works. Everything always leads back to her. Park Chaeyoung. The girl that I used to call mine.

The driver opens my door and offers his hand for me to take before I can continue to dwell on any more thoughts of Rosie and the other girls. Lights flash in my face as I step out of the vehicle and the paparazzi, as well as the paid professional photographers, snap pictures of me stepping out onto the sidewalk. Lisa had a red carpet set up so people could pose for pictures on the way in, but I skip the spectacle and rush right inside. I've never been a fan of the paparazzi, but even less so now that they usually yell out questions about Blackpink or Rosie.

As soon as I enter the club, I can feel the bass vibrations in my chest, causing me to shake almost as much as my nerves. The lights don't stop flashing, but this time they're in the shape of strobe lights and lasers instead of cameras. I can smell the stench of alcohol in the air and see liquid being sloshed around in a variety of shot glasses and tumblers. The smell alone makes me cringe, but I knew I would be around this tonight. But I have the self-control these days to not give in, something I wouldn't have been able to say a few months ago.

Those days after Rosé left fucked me up. Then I fucked myself up for days and weeks and months.

I take a deep breath and muster up the courage to walk to the bar, trying to ignore everything around me tempting me to get a drink instead of just a water. But as soon as I take two steps forward, "Jendeukie!" is yelled into my ear as Jisoo wraps her arms around my neck, inadvertently cutting off most of my air supply.

"Hi Chu!" I chuckle and turn around, but before I can turn all the way around, another force crashes into my side.

"What's up, Unnie?!" Lisa screams and I'm pretty positive that she was actually trying to tackle me to the ground, but ended up running right into my chest instead. "I'm so happy you made it!"