Sweet Torment/A Jordan Knight Fanfic (18+)✔️

31

Chapter Thirty-One

The first week was the hardest.

That's what I kept telling myself. If I could just make it through that first week, those seven long days, those one hundred sixty-eight hours, I'd be okay.

I forced myself to focus on one task at a time. Get Madi to school while Kaylee drove to the hospital. Take a shower. Feed myself.

Stay off of my phone since I kept staring at it like it might ring.

It didn't. I wasn't sure why I was disappointed every time it didn't ring.

I wasn't sure why I was surprised that Jordan didn't put forth any sort of effort to get in touch.

I'd left him. I'd been the one to end things. I'd been the one to quit.

I'd been the stupid one.

I allowed myself to dwell only when I was alone. When I was around my sister and my niece, I put on my brave face.

But when night rolled around and I lay in bed alone, I thought about Jordan. My chest heaved with sadness as I wept. My heart physically ached from the wreckage. My stomach hurt. My head hurt.

Everything hurt.

That first week on my own bled slowly into two, and it wasn't any easier when two bled into three.

When one month had passed, the hole in my heart felt bigger than ever.

The whole point of leaving and venturing off on my own was to find myself. Instead, after that first month, I realized that I'd left my entire heart back in Jordan's capable hands. And I was having a hard time surviving without that very important piece of myself.

When Madi was at school and Kaylee was visiting her husband, I focused on my new job. Lincoln had met me halfway for dinner one night, and we worked out the details of my contract.

I told him everything. It probably wasn't the most professional way to begin a business relationship, but Lincoln was one of the few people who knew both Jordan and me. Besides, he'd brought his wife, Alexis, along, and the two of them had been surprisingly parental.

Neither of them had been surprised that there was something between Jordan and me, even though at the time there hadn't been.

I thought back to the night of the MTC dinner. Jordan had admitted that he'd wanted me that night after the fact, and I remembered a very steamy elevator ride where everything and nothing had simultaneously changed.

I immersed myself in work and in helping Kaylee. I forced my smile for Madi. I helped make dinner and do the dishes, but it was all mechanical movements used to bury my feelings.

Because if I let myself think about him—even just for a second—I lost another little piece of myself.

In the blur of the first few weeks that I'd been at Kaylee's, I'd received an email from Charlie.

Emily,

I've researched divorce and we qualify for a Summary Dissolution since we don't own any property or have any kids. It's quick and easy and it's my preference to handle it this way. We both need to fill out paperwork. I'll complete my portion and leave it on the kitchen counter. We'll need to meet at the county courthouse to file the paperwork, and then it's a six month waiting period. The sooner we can take care of this, the better.

Charlie

I read his email three times.

Quick and easy.