I Won't Let You Close Enough to Hurt Me

Chapter 29

     As the cabs pulled up in front of a large, white-brick building, the kids and moms all stepped out. Abby had left a few minutes later than everyone because she needed to give John another short lecture, but everyone knew that she would be arriving soon. They walked into the lobby and were stunned by all of the color. Although the floor was white marble, it was covered in a giant multi-colored rug. The walls were white as well, but the paint color could barely be seen under all of the framed posters of the "Shake it Up" cast. Each couch and chair was a different bright color with a mismatching throw pillow. It was exactly what Brooke thought it would look like.

     Maddie plopped down onto the purple couch, and Brooke joined her. They sat in awkward silence for a minute or two while Maddie twirled her hair in her fingers looking anxious. Finally, she blurted, "What happened last night that Abby was so mad about? It had to be bad if John isn't even allowed to audition anymore."

     "Don't worry about it," Brooke muttered. Normally, she would have confided in Maddie. Today, however, she felt so ill that she didn't feel like being pestered.

     "But Brooke," Maddie protested. The pounding in Brooke's head forced her to tune the rest of Maddie's complaint out, but in the distance, she heard Nick tell his mom that he was going to the bathroom.

     Even though Brooke's legs felt like wet noodles, she forced herself off of the couch. She told Maddie that she would be right back; she just had to take care of something. Brooke walked quickly down the hall to catch Nick before he went into the bathroom. As he pushed open the door, she grabbed him by the shoulder.

     "Nick, please talk to me," she insisted. Nick sighed, closed the door, and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "We need to straighten this out."

     "What's there to straighten out?" Nick said flatly.

     "Every lie that Brandon told you. I know that I probably should have handled things differently, but I didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry that you got hurt; I really am. But I can't believe that after everything I've been through with you and Brandon, you would believe him over me," Brooke paused. She could feel the warm tears forming behind her eyes, but she blinked them away. "You treated me terribly. You called me a whore; you slammed a door in my face. I don't deserve that."

     Nick took a deep breath. "I don't know what to think anymore. I'm really sorry about the way I acted, I was just so mad. I really like you Brooke, but all of this drama... It's just too much. I don't know if it's worth it." With that, he disappeared into the bathroom.

     Brooke stood outside the door breathing heavily. She expected herself to burst into tears, but she didn't. This time, she was filled with a different emotion: rage. She hadn't done anything wrong, and Nick was still upset. "Well, fine," Brooke thought. "If Nick doesn't want to be with me, that's fine. I'll just work as hard as I can, get this job, and meet a perfect guy in L.A."

*******

     This task was easier said than done. The choreographer was teaching everyone the dance on the actual "Shake it Up" stage, so that meant obnoxious strobe lights and blaring music. Her headache was making it impossible to concentrate, and her queasy stomach made it hard to dance. Even the instructor noticed she was struggling. "Hey, number 32, you okay back there?" he yelled.

     Brooke looked down to her chest where the number 32 was pinned. "Can I just get a quick drink of water?" she asked. The choreographer nodded, and Brooke ran to her dance bag. She grabbed her water and frantically looked for more asprin. She sighed when she realized her mom had the bottle, and she would have to get it from her.

     Brooke trudged over to Kelly. "Um, mom," Brooke stuttered. Without hesitating, Kelly reached into her bag and pulled out two small, blue pills and held them out in front of her. As Brooke accepted them, Kelly let out a sigh of disappointment. Christi, on the other hand, extended her arms for a hug. Brooke gladly accepted. "Hang in there, kiddo," Christi whispered.

     As she ran back to the stage, Nina motioned to Brooke to stand by her. "How are you feeling okay right now?" Brooke whispered.

     "Because I'm way more used to this than you are," Nina admitted. "I'm sorry I made you do this; it was such a terrible idea."

     "It's okay," Brooke smiled.

     After two hours, the girls were given a short break before they performed before the producers one by one. Most of the moms provided their kids with snacks, but Brooke refused to even look at food. She saw Nick across the room eating a sandwich and got angry all over again. She walked over to her bag and pulled out her phone and headphones. It was one of those moments when she needed to listen to Taylor Swift's songs on replay.

     Before she knew it, it was Brooke's turn to perform. She stepped up onto the stage and waited for the judges to finish their notes on Chloe, who had auditioned right before her. When they told her that she could begin, the music came on and she began to dance. The style was jazz, and normally, that was one of Brooke's strengths. Today, however, she was barely ably to do one pirouette. She was constantly tripping over her own two feet, and she could feel herself blowing the whole audition. When the dance ended, the producers thanked her and she walked off the stage. She dragged her feet all the way to the lobby, and when she got there, she collapsed next to her mom and began to cry.

     "I blew it, mom," Brooke wept.

     "Oh, Brooke," Kelly comforted. "It was one audition. You're a beautiful dancer, and I know there are going to be hundreds more opportunities for you. Today wasn't your best day, and that's okay. Everyone has bad days."

     Once all of the other girls saw Brooke crying, they all ran to her and wrapped her in a group hug.

     Later on at the hotel, the girls from the junior team decided to have a movie night since it was their last night in L.A. Brooke was invited, but she told them she was too exhausted. All she really wanted was to lay in bed for the next week of her life and not move a muscle.

     Before falling asleep, Brooke tweeted, "Losing him was blue like I'd never known, missing him was dark grey all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met," which were lyrics from her most recent favorite song, "Red". Within seconds of sending the tweet, Brooke's phone vibrated with a new text.