Emotionally Compromised (#1) (Available On Amazon) [Preview]

Chapter 12 - Meeting #1

ALEX TURNER

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I continuously stir my coffee in front of me as I wait for Captain Alvarado to arrive for our impromptu 9:00AM meeting this Monday morning. I can't beleive I am doing this...is this all really because of some guy...?

I tense at the thought because it feels so silly suddenly. But the feeling of Jeremy's lips feels like a searing memory on mine. They have felt on fire, and tingling in need ever sense I left his place yesterday evening. I have to confess: I think I miss that arrogant bastard. I dont beleive in that bullshit: love at first sight, but I do know that I just don't want to throw this one away. Is that enough of a reason to do this...?

 I want a cigarette but under Derek’s watchful, judgmental eye I can’t –I am trying to quit, really I am. This past weekend was such a wonderful distraction that nicotine didn’t even cross my mind. But as I sit in this sterile conference room at headquarters I want that fix so bad.

            Derek practically shouts at me, slicing the thick silence, “What the hell is going on Turner?” He knows it is out of my character to not tell him things. I tell him everything.

I yank my head towards him. “What?” You know what, Agent Turner.

            “What the hell is going on? Why won’t you tell me anything?” His eyebrows are scrunched up tight as he says it and for a moment I see it as a familiar endearing facial expression because I really have only ever known Derek to always be annoyed with me in some way, but that is just how we are. We piss each other off to keep each other in line.

Derek is kind of a distracting sort of good looking man --because that is what he is, a man without question. He is that 'tall, dark and handsome' type with his broad built, 6'2 height, striking emerald eyes and short brown hair...and it gets him into a lot of trouble too. He is 29 but I think he enjoys it. His trained body and soul is marred with scars mentally and physically just as my own, because he's been my partner here since I got out of the academy. I would say we make a perfect team, but lately we've had a hard time grasping our domestic issue. Maybe it wasn't him kissing his ex that really ended us, maybe it was because we are so bad at dealing with real emotional shit. We couldn't manage our personal and professional lives so we (he) slippe up...in a way I am not even mad anymore...

I notice he didn't shave this morning and I am momentarily distracted by the stubble on his stron jaw.

            Shaking myself from the inappropriate analyzation of his features I snap back, “Because it’s complicated.”

            “You think I don’t know how to do complicated?” and he is on the verge of being very angry, because if anyone knows complicated, it’s Derek.

            I roll my eyes even though I know I shouldn’t.

            “Dammit Turner!” And his tone makes me jump. I decide to look into his piercing green eyes and for some odd reason I suddenly feel guilty. He is not going to want to understand the truth…

            “I’m sorry,” I sputter. Because underneath it all --I really am. 

            “That’s it? All I get is an ‘I’m sorry?’”

            I let my lips set into a hard line. “For now, yes.”

            He sighs, running his hand through his dark brown hair exasperated with me.