singing in red

Look Up

Rumour has it that the band Silver Gun is going to make a comeback very soon! A music video is said to be filming this weekend. Insider information told me that this album is centred around the idea of love and heartbreak, and how one can not exist without each other. The colours red and black are the new yin and yang. Very metaphorical of you He Tian. Looking forward to yet more hits that will rock the world!

Guan Shan, for the thousandth time that day, looked up 'part-time jobs' on Google. He is itching for some money. It's not that he's completely broke but he needs to buy a new pair of shoes. His current one is falling apart to the point where it's become a safety hazard. He's scrolling through the job's list to find a job that he could squeeze in but most required more hours than he can give. He needed a one time gig. For a second, a brief second, Guan Shan thinks of prostitution but he's not sure if a new pair of shoes is worth the trouble that would bring.

To his luck (which he gets on extremely rare occasions), he gets an email from his modelling agent and the subject on the email is 'NEW GIG'. Guan Shan almost drops his phone with how fast he reacted and clicks on that notification. But the damn wifi was too slow so he ended up staring at a white screen for five minutes before the text showed up.

That's when he really drops his phone.

Guan Shan stares at his phone as if he's been possessed. His mind hopes that he's having a nightmare, but he remembers waking up this morning and that really his life is a nightmare. So it's not surprising that this would happen to him now.

He carefully picks up his phone and stares at the screen, which is now cracked. The headline on the message, in big bold words, read, " SILVER GUN SEEKING FOR REDHEADED MODELS FOR MUSIC VIDEO ".

The convenience store disaster with he-who-must-not-be-named happened just a week ago. He was really hoping that, that was the last time he would have to deal with all these feelings. Suppressing them for hours while he was stuck in the convenience store caused him to go home after his shift and scream into his pillow for hours. Then proceed to call his manager and tell him that he can only work day shifts from now on. Too many memories, too much of something that's he's not ready to feel. He wasn't ready then, he isn't ready now.

It's ridiculous how his feelings didn't change after what's happened and it's been years. Ridiculous that he could recognize him by his voice, even just by his mouth. That the sight of him, that the recognition of him, could bring on so many emotions.

Ridiculous that he's the one who wanted to sever the connection but ended up missing the other so much that sometimes it physically hurt.

Ridiculous that all he wanted to do was pull him back when he left after the lights turned on.

Ridiculous that he still wanted to push him against the wall and -

Guan Shan dug his fingernails into his palm to cut off that thought. That is somewhere he didn't want his mind to go. The place that is only allowed to go into during the darkness of the night or in the laziness of the morning, when he really needed to relieve some tension and relax. When he really couldn't be bothered to get up and take a cold shower.

Guan Shan tiredly runs his thumb across the screen and reads through the message. It's a brief description of the music video, and its theme. Something about the collision of the colours black and red. There's information on the confidentiality of the music, members, and theme and about the amount of paperwork he has to do for it. The outfits are all figured out and all he has to do is come on set and wear them. It's the biggest gig up to date.