Gaining Control

A Sense of Normalcy

I trudged through the aisles of PHAT: Pretty, Hot, and Tantalizing. This wasn't just some store I visited frequently, but it was also my job. After Friday's incident, the last place I wanted to be was a sex shop. However, I needed to pay my bills, so I woke up this morning, determined to continue on with the rest of my life.

It was almost 10am, and the store had been relatively quiet for most of the morning. I walked out of the Impact aisle, and felt for the leather handcuff that indicated I was in the Bondage aisle. I lifted my head, and smiled. This was my happy place, a place where I could let my imagination run wild with handcuffs, rope, and ties. My foot landed on something, and I bent down to retrieve what I had stepped on. I shook the box, and felt the box for any indication of what could be inside. A small section of rope lay across the top of the box, and I placed the box with the rest of the rope.

"Nicolas, you're needed!" I heard my boss, Janine Rogers, call from somewhere in the store.

I used my cane to guide myself out of the aisle, and turned towards the front of the store. I stopped as I heard footsteps approaching.

"Nic, this is Carla and Robert. They are looking for some bondage and impact implements, and I told them you could point them in the right direction," my coworker, Brian Reynolds, explained.

"Wait, he's blind?" Robert asked.

"I can assure you, Nicolas is very skilled in these specific areas. We've trained him in handling our products, and he's been working with us for a bit. The store is set up so that he'll have no trouble helping you," Brian told the customers, and I heard his footsteps retreat back towards the front.

"Follow me," I said, and turned back down the bondage aisle.

I heard the curious whispers behind me, and I slowly faced them.

"If you have questions, please feel free to ask."

"Um," Robert stuttered. "What handcuffs would you recommend for a beginner?"

"These," I said, picking up the fur-lined handcuffs that sat next to the package of long rope.

"Are these adjustable?" asked Carla, interest evident within her voice as she took them from me.

"Yes," I explained, turning to face her. "There's a latch on the side where you can adjust how tight or loose they are."

"Wow," I heard Robert whisper.

"Find anything you like?" I asked, turning towards him.

"Well, um, no," he stammered. "I'm just surprised because of how knowledgeable you are. I've never met a blind person at a sex shop before."

"Robert!" Carla scolded him.

"No, it's okay. I've been working here for six months, and the store manager wanted to make sure I felt included and safe. They made sure aisles had tactile markers so I knew which section held what, and when I need help, my coworkers are always willing and able," I explained to my customers. "Carla, are you interested in those cuffs?"

"Maybe," she said hesitantly. "They won't hurt, will they?"

"Just be careful not to pull on them too much. The soft padding will help alleviate any pain on your wrists," I told her. "Is this your first time trying bondage?"

"Yes," Robert chimed in. "It'll be my first time trying handcuffs on her. We mostly experiment with rope."

"Well, I suggest these handcuffs. They are soft and are adjustable, and if something is happening where she doesn't feel comfortable, she can get herself out easily and safely." I told them.

"I'll hold onto them," Carla said. "Baby, you wanted to look at floggers?"

"Yeah," he answered, and I told them to follow me.

I used my hand to find the belt taped to the wall, and I turned down the aisle. I trailed it  along the bottom of the implements until I felt the leather tails.

"We have many sizes," I stated. "Looking for something in particular?"

"Something small to begin with," Robert said.

I felt around at the bottom of the shelf until my hand landed on a package with the tails hanging down. The handle was smaller and thinner.

"This is the smallest flogger we've got," I explained, holding out the package to Robert.

"Do you have anything, um, a little bigger?" he asked.

I placed the smaller flogger back where it was, and I reached up to the next shelf and pulled down a package where the handle was thicker.

"How about this?" I inquired as I held it out to him.

He took it from me, and I heard the two whispering over how painful it could be. This experience didn't have to hurt.

"If I may interject," I interrupted their conversation. "Running the flogger over parts of the body could make the body more sensitive. Then, before you use the flogger, run your hands over the part of the body you just teased. It'll make for such a wonderful experience."

"Hmm," Carla hummed. "Interesting."

"We'll take this too," Robert chimed in, his voice full of excitement.

"Great, if that's all, I'll have a cashier ring you up," I stated, satisfied that I had helped them find what they needed.

"Yep, that's all," I heard as Robert walked away.

"Thank you so much for your help. Excuse my boyfriend, he was just curious about how you do things," Carla said as she hugged me. "I hope he didn't offend you."

"Not at all," I said with a smile. "Thanks for coming, and I hope you enjoy your purchases. Have a good night."

After her footsteps faded, I turned and walked towards the end of the aisle. I allowed myself to think about the encounter I just had with those customers. The curiosity, the whispers, the questions, it's all welcome. But, why can't a blind person hold down a job? Why was it always such a shock to find a blind person with a cane, selling canes?

When I was talking to Carla, I felt a vibration in my left pocket, and now that the aisle was clear of people, I reached into my pocket to retrieve my phone. I unlocked it, and opened my messages. Two New Messages, VoiceOver read aloud, and I double tapped on the conversation to bring them into focus.

Master B: Nicolas, I'm just finding out about Friday. I'd like to meet to discuss this problem, and what we can do to eliminate other mishaps like it happening again.

Master B: I'd also like to see if we could get you to meet other people in the lifestyle. I know this isn't easy for you, but my staff and I will work to make sure you never have to feel left out or like a burden. We've got you, Nic. Does 6pm work for you?

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Hi all,

Thanks for your comments and votes on Gaining Control. It honestly means a lot. I hope you will continue to stick with me until the end, because Nicolas's journey is just getting started. Love you all, and keep smiling! :)