She is a Paradox

WHAT?!

Previously

As she steps out the room, one of the other girls peeped her head round the door. "There's someone here to see you Astrid, they're waiting downstairs."

A visitor? Well, I guess there's a first time for everything. Stepping out the room, checking my appearance on the way out, I head down to the visiting hall. Opening the door and looking round the room at all the family and friends, I finally see a familiar face.

"Hey Ash..."

Chapter 3

Not just one familiar face, but 5...

Xander, Abbott, Hugo, Axel and Isaac Jones. Also known as my brothers. Whom, did I mention, I haven't seen in 5 years.

I'm stood, frozen in silence.

Let me introduce you. Strangely each of my brothers' names reflect their personalities. Abbott, being 24 it makes him the oldest of the 6 of us; his name means father, and when my father died that's what he became. Then, after mum died, he took on all responsibility and did what he could to look after us all.

Then there's Axel, 22, and the peacekeeper. If anything 'broke-out' (usually because of Xander), he was always the one to put things right and make sure everyone was happy.

Xander, 21, and much like his name (meaning 'to defend' or 'warrior') he's the... defender? More like the over-protective fighter. He has everyone's best interests at heart but that can often get him into trouble... and fights... lots of fights.

Last and certainly not least Hugo and Isaac, 20 and twins. Although they are alike physically their personalities are very different. Hugo is the smart one. Always got his head in a book studying, came top of his class, every class, and every year, he even has the glasses to prove it (not to be stereotypical). Isaac on the other hand, he's the comedian. The class clown. Always making people laugh, lightening up any situation, and definitely one with the ladies; even when we were little he'd have a new girlfriend every week. And to disguise his need for glasses, contacts, to avoid 'ruining his reputation'. Despite the two being so different they're super close, always have been. Isaac would defend Hugo from any bullying, being the best wing man possible, and Hugo would try his best to keep Isaac... on track, helping him with the 'smart' stuff. They were the perfect duo, always scheming up plans and getting into (and out of) lots of trouble.

I break the silence. "Hi guys... Let's cut to the chase, what are you doing here?" Okay so maybe I could've said that less harshly, but what can you expect? I haven't seen them in 5 years.

Axel's the first one to talk (makes sense really). "Astrid, I understand that you are probably wondering why it's been so long, but if we could all just calmly sit down, take a deep breath, then we can all talk about this like mature adults." What did I say? Always trying to keep the peace, not this time brother.

"Are you kidding me?! It's been 5 years! 5 years! Where the hell have you guys been? Or did you just forget about me, your SISTER?! Well, huh, would someone care to explain?" People were starting to stare, and attention was something I didn't like.

Axel, is about to speak when Abbott interrupts him. "Ash..." He pauses for a second at my glare, and takes a breath. I really need to stop doing that. "We didn't know you were here."

HA... wait what? They didn't know- "What? How didn't you know? I thought Jamie was supposed to keep you up to date where I was and-" Jamie's one of the social workers that were assigned to our 'case'. She was really nice, although I never actually met her, but she would always keep my brothers up to date as to where I was and let my social worker, Wendy, know how my brothers were and then she'd tell me. She'd help arrange meetings between us and then, all of a sudden, it all just stopped. I just assumed the worst.

"Yeah well Jamie's gone, she left and got replaced with some weirdo called David, 5 years ago. We thought you knew."

"Yeah because this clear look of confusion plastered all over my face totally shows I knew." Another glare. "Wait so this David guy hasn't told you anything?"

Hugo steps up. "Nope, he didn't even explain where Jamie went. He just came along one day, told us he was our new social worker and that we weren't allowed to be in any more contact with you. Which, by the way, is against all our rights."

Isaac places a hand on his shoulder. "He said it was in your best interests and when we kept pushing it he got pretty mad."

"How did you guys even find me?"

"Well, using my amazing computer skills, we hacked into David's emails. But that didn't really give us much apart from an email between him and Wendy, when he first started. It was her telling him where you were at the time. That was our starting point. From then we made calls, internet and real life stalked a few people, and finally, after getting hold of Wendy's diary about a week ago, notice that she'd been making weekly visits and calls here, St Marie's home for Troubled Youths. After sneaking a look at the visitors' book and seeing she'd visited you it all made sense. Except one thing." Wow a very elaborate plan.

After being silent the whole time Xander finally speaks up, with a stern look on his face. "What the hell are you doing here?" Did I mention he's a tad protective? Okay more than a tad.

I have to tell them, this isn't something I can even think about keeping from them. "Welllllllllllll..." Come on Astrid you have to tell them. "You seeeeee..." But if I tell them then they'll go mad, they'll be so mad at me they definitely won't want anything to do with me. No don't think like that, they're your brothers they can help. Tell them. Don't tell them. Tell them. Don't tell- I really need to stop having internal battles with myself.

Xander interrupts my thoughts, his tone deepening. "Astrid."

I sigh, this is it. "I-I tried to kill myself..." Their eyes widen and mouths open, gasping silently. "3 times." I add on quickly, under my breath.

The looks on their faces will forever stick will me, the looks of pure horror and shock and sadness and, worst of all, disappointment, all mixed into one.

"Ash..." Xander pulls me into a hug (something he never does). And for the first time, in a long time, I broke down. In that moment the walls I had spent so long building up had been broken, scrap that, torn down and I finally let it all out. All the emotions I had been holding in, let out by one act.

One by one they all join in and now we're a bunch of emotional kids hugging in a room full of people, and yet, it feels like we're the only ones in the room.

We finally break apart and I wipe the tears from my face, smiling slightly at my brothers. "I'm sorry."

The bell rings, signalling the end of visiting hours. We each share one last hug and they leave, promising to come back the next visitors day. "I love you guys."

Abbotts the one to reply. "We love you too Ash, see you later, yeah?" I smile slightly, nodding at them, and watching them as they walk out the room, back to the outside world.

I go back to my room and head into the bathroom, locking the door once I'm in. Walking over to the sink I stare at myself in the mirror for a few seconds. Wiping the stray tears away, splashing my face with cold water and making myself look more presentable once again, I take a deep breath, attempting to grasp the previous events of the day, and as if it couldn't get any more eventful there's a knock at the bathroom door.

"A, it me, Clara, you ready for CC?" CC, aka, the dreaded communication circle. Crap, I forgot we had that today.

"I'll be right out C."

I take another breath and go to unlock the door. Nathan Clay *ahem* I mean, Communication Circle (wow I really need to sort my head out) here I come.

And that's it for Chapter 3! Thank you for reading and be sure to leave a comment letting me know what you thought and leaving any suggestions of things that you may like to see happen. Until next time! Keep happy thoughts!

And be sure to leave a little sparkle wherever you go!
Megs xx