Single Republican Dad

            Nikki Cross tried not to laugh when the cowboy walked onto the set in his white button up shirt, bolo tie, too tight jeans, too large belt buckle, and four-hundred-dollar ostrich skin cowboy boots. He tipped his Stetson in her direction and gave her a good-old-boy grin. Nikki swallowed her condescension. This had to be some punishment from the producers. There was no way this hillbilly was ever going to make it on the presidential ticket, much less running in the primaries against Donald Trump. While Nikki Cross loathed the man, there was no way that the flyover states were going to give up their white savior. . .especially not to a tow-headed, freckle faced hillbilly mayor of a town of four thousand.

"Howdy, ma'am," Clayton Cooper said, extending his hand to be shook. "Thanks for having me on your show." His North Texas drawl was thick. Nikki looked over at her producer in the booth, who just shrugged. She knew that Melvin was hair-brained, but she couldn't believe that they were going to waste airtime. No one was ever going to take him serious with a voice like that. Middle America loved voted for people who acted like hillbillies, but they hated when they sounded like Lil' Abner.

"Have you been on television before, Mister Mayor?" Nikki asked, arranging her questions on her lap. She couldn't afford any softball questions. She knew that the network was looking for any excuse to sentence the black lesbian to after midnight slot.

"Nothing like this, ma'am," he said, looking around at the lights and cameras. "Been on a lot of local stations. Once I started campaigning, everyone wanted a quick interview with me. I think ya'll got more people working here than in all of Prosperity." He let out a quick chuckle. "Nothing like this. Hope I don't wet my britches in front of a million people." It was thousands at best, but Nikki Cross didn't want to correct him. Before she had come out of the closet, it used to be millions.

"We're on commercial for the next three minutes," Nikki said. "Would you like me to get you some water?"

"I don't suppose I could get a beer." He laughed and slapped his knee. The truth was that she had used alcohol on guests before. Some of the refused to come on for an interview without a bottle and a half of wine that cost more than Nikki's car.

Nikki took a deep breath. This was going to be a long seven minutes. She just hoped that she could keep condescension under control.

When the lights flashed that they were live, Clayton Cooper gave his best good-old-boy smile to the camera. When she introduced him, he tipped his Stetson and said. "Ladies, gentlemen, and ya'll."

"Mister Cooper," Nikki began.

He raised a hand, and it took effort for Nikki Cross not to roll her eyes. She knew what he was going to say, and she kicked herself for not addressing it before the cameras were rolling. "You can just call me Clay, ma'am." She nodded but had no intention of giving him permission to call her Nikki.

"As you know the Republican National Convention has already selected Donald Trump as their candidate," Nikki said. "If you are a Republican, why would you defy your own party and attempt to run against him in primary election."

"I got a lot of reasons," Clay replied. "The two biggest reasons are my kids. I want them to grow up in a better world. I think Mister Trump ain't the best president. Whenever he does something terrible, all I can think is that America ain't supposed to be like that."

Nikki looked down at her next question, but she thought she would let Clayton Cooper dig himself a bigger hole. "What do you mean?"

"Well, ma'am, let's start with the Transgender ban. There ain't a reason why a healthy man, woman, or non-binary shouldn't be able to strap on a pair of green drawers and defend our country. My little boy, Chase, is fourteen, ma'am." He turned toward Nikki like she expected her to say something, so she nodded. "He's a little young, and he's got himself all kinds of figured out. Better figured out that I was at that age. Probably because of YouTube." He shrugged. "Chase is gay, ma'am. I know what ya'll are thinking, because I used to think the same thing. He's too young to know that, but I knew that my pecker used to stand up for Kathy Ireland and Daisy Duke when I was his age. He's got a thing for that guy from Guardians of the Galaxy. That Christian boy."