Survival

14. Condemned to Secrecy

Stephanie could hear her blood rushing in her ears. Her mouth dried up. A beat of utter quiet passed. If her hands weren't wringing each other, then perhaps they would be shaking.

"I can't tell you."

The tone of her voice was strong and sure, lacking the loss of conviction those words usually took in the mouths of people. In Stephanie's case, she really could not say anything about her past; it was too mixed up in werewolves and human rivalries. Any story she could spin would not match up. Lies always caught up with her.

"But you understand why we need to know?" Miranda urged sternly.

Stephanie hesitated, but knew that Miranda was right, and that it wasn't fair to the family if they knew nothing about their guest. For all they knew, she could be unstable and dangerous.

"I do," said Stephanie softly.

That answer obviously warranted a full background story, as both parents were staring at Stephanie in an expectant silence. Stephanie was coming to the end of her tether. What would happen if she continually refused? Would they kick her out?

Even if it was possible to let the Seymours in on her life, she hadn't yet voiced what had happened that night to anyone. The reality was far too real for her to have not accepted it by now. However, she felt that, by saying it out loud, she might be admitting defeat in the search for her pack. That wasn't a defeat she could stomach.

Agitation tensed Stephanie's shoulders and turned her hands on each other once again. There was no way to win this situation. For once, Stephanie couldn't bear the thought of having to leave again, despite the obvious shortcomings the little town had. Its flaws only made it seem more real and… well, it gave it more personality.

On the other hand-

It was not in the cards to spill all of her secrets. That, no doubt, would end disastrously, one way or another.

"Stephanie?"

Whether or not the Seymours would be able to handle the magnitude of her secret wasn’t the only thing in question, though it was at the forefront of Stephanie’s mind. There were other things to take into consideration too.

Stephanie’s head reeled with all of the things she had to think about, to weigh against each other.

What’s the point? She thought absently among the chaos of inner war. You already know that you can’t tell them anything.

Apart from the hatred, bewilderment, disbelief and alienation the Seymour family could display toward her in the face of her history and the very real secret she held, they could be put in serious danger if they knew.

This knowledge was surrounded by the type of danger that came with sleepless nights and endless days, restless minds and frayed nerves, loneliness and paranoia… pain and pain and pain.

Stephanie couldn’t subject anyone to that. It wasn’t fair. If only they knew, they wouldn’t ask her to do this to them. They were still a family.

“Stephanie?”

It was Jonathon this time. The more gentle of the two who exuded less power. His face was creased with worry, whereas Miranda was still holding out for the information. Clearly, she was looking out for her family, and would not rest until she was sure they were safe.

But Stephanie couldn’t answer. Her head was a whirlpool of information, washing back and forth and dragging down everything that gathered inside of it.

Neither of her parents had been able to show much power, not compared to most of the others in the pack, especially not compared to Liam’s parents. She missed their compassion and understanding while sitting under the cold gaze of her new foster mother.