In The Dark

✨UNSTABLE ✨

My eyes watered
My heart sank
The thoughts I had
And the smile I held
Lost in the moment

Tears silently passed my cheeks
And the thoughts grew darker
My head ached
My heart ached

But I knew it wouldn't last
It never did
I knew change was to come
But change I couldn't control

Like a pendulum
Point to point
Always the same
But always changing

In a moment suicide was the answer
In the next it was a myth
My smile never stayed
Nor did my tears
But it was already my norm

My uncontrollable phases
Weeks to days
Days to months
Months to years
Unpredictable as love
But noticeable as death

Constant, random but known
I try to keep up
But trying became useless
So now my disorder rules my body
Because I'm unstable.

~~junjun~~