Fallen Crown

Chapter 6

Eun Sang looked at her reflection in the mirror. On the outside she was the same; wide, curious eyes, a little stumpy nose she hadn't always liked, a smile like her mother's...

I'm smiling.

She stared as though she were beholding a foreign creature. It had been such a long time since she had seen that expression on her face. Worries had stolen her happiness for so many years that she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing, much less what she was feeling. That ridiculous little joy in her heart. How could she feel such a thing? She patted her cheeks trying to sober up. Nothing had changed. She was still an ordinary girl in an extraordinary world. Her situation was still precarious. Her fate hung on a thin thread that was held together by the hands of a man who could easily let go without much consequence to him. She was his investment, he had warned her, and as such he would do with her as he pleased. And she had to agree.

For now.

Chan Young's father always gave wise advice that she repeated to herself daily.
Bear with it, Eun Sang. Make the most of it. Learn everything you can. Take all the opportunities. Until you can stand on your own feet and hold your own weight. Until their pressure can't destroy you. Persevere. Only then will you be free.

Eun Sang could bear it all. She would handle it. And she would be free. In the meantime, she decided, she refused to let them control her heart. If she could find reasons to smile, she would. If she could find reasons to laugh, she would. No longer would she let guilt keep her from living as much as she could live. No longer would she ignore the glimmer of hope that she could see at the end of the long, dark tunnel.

She saw his face. It was a blurry image, distant, almost untouchable. But it was him. Her heart recognized him though it made no sense. It was a dangerous comfort to find solace under the shadow of a shark. It was madness. He wasn't her hope. He wasn't what drove her. And yet he was certainly inspiring her in some way.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

Slowly she opened the bathroom door and poked her head out. Young Do wasn't back. She stepped out quietly, half expecting him to jump at her from a hidden corner. He was a boy that she could still not figure out. He always exceeded even her smallest expectations. At the far end of the room his closet was open. Curiously, Eun Sang inched closer, glancing over her shoulder to be sure he wasn't coming. It was an impressively large walk in closet with more clothes than Eun Sang had ever owned in her life. The lights overhead pinned their spotlight on certain sections: coats, shirts, suits, trousers, even a collection of ties and bows. Everything was perfectly organized by garment type, and color. His shoes were impeccably aligned on the racks, polished and clean as if they had never been worn.

It's like a small department store.

Eun Sang ran her hand through the clothes. There were so many different textures and colors. She came across a familiar sweater. It was the one he had worn when she had gone to him after he had blackmailed her. The one he had worn when she was forced to eat noodles with him so that he, in turn, could drop a lawsuit against a kid he had terrorized to the point of insanity.
Back then, Eun Sang had hated Young Do and everything he stood for. It felt like an eternity had passed since that unforgettable afternoon. Perhaps emotionally it had been an eternity.

Eun Sang pulled the sweater off the hanger. She had hated it as much as she hated everything about its owner. Holding it up she realized that despite his slender frame he was still much bigger than her. Broad shoulders. Long torso. An impressively tall stature. It was the little things, she concluded, which she had never noticed about him before.

Young Do was like a painting. Perhaps at first glance it made no sense. Perhaps it even looked hideous, offensive, even frightening. In order to appreciate its beauty and make sense of its complexity one had to look at the details, at the smallest of brush strokes, at how the colors overlapped and came together to create a whole piece.