Dark Matter | JJK

38. Intimate Pasts

Petra hissed as the swab of disinfectant-soaked cotton pricked her wounded ankle. 

Blood trickled down her skin in thin rivulets, oozing out of gashes inflicted by the sharp nails of the Aenigmuus that were digging into her ankle not an hour ago. Not an hour ago, when Jungkook stormed down to the basement in a frightening fit of anger and locked himself in the laboratory. 

Her phone buzzed, splintering the silence of her bedroom so abruptly that she almost dropped the swab of bloody cotton from her fingers. 

Regaining her composure, she placed the cotton on a metal tray on the nightstand and answered the call. 

"I haven't changed numbers since the past six months," the voice at the other end of the line said, not bothering to articulate a greeting. "What's your excuse for not calling me this time?" 

"Joon," Petra sighed, surprised at her ability to smile at such a time. "Don't go all passive-aggressive on me if you're truly sad that it's been so long since we last talked."

Namjoon chuckled with feigned disbelief. "Wow. Are you trying to turn this on me right now?" 

"How've you been?" she asked. "Are they letting you get at least four hours' sleep a day?" 

"Ah," he said, letting out a weak chuckle, and she finally heard the first signs of exhaustion seeping into his voice. "Sleep is the last of my concerns at the moment. I'm afraid if I leave the President's side for five minutes, I'll return to find out he's declared war." 

Petra frowned deeply. "War? What makes Hwanwook think his country will last another month with how things already are, let alone survive a war?" 

"The man's losing his mind. I can understand the sheer amount of pressure he's facing, but one wrong move on his part and this country's done for good."  

Petra shut her eyes in exasperation, teeth sinking into her lip. "How the hell are the people supposed to even face this head on if the President himself is losing it? As if we don't already have more than enough to deal with and that bastard wants to declare war. I don't even know what's going to happen anymore —" 

"Hey, hey, hey," Namjoon interrupted, most definitely raising his eyebrows, surprised at the rapid succession of expletives leaving the mouth of a girl who could keep herself perfectly composed for the most part. "What's with you being so restless? I get that this isn't the best of times, but what will be left of us if people like you start to lose hope?''

"I... I don't really know, Nams." 

"Is everything alright, Petra?" he asked in concern, and a blade of guilt tore through her for making the Secretary even more worried than he already was. "I have a feeling it doesn't have something to do with all this creating-an-antidote business. Is —" Namjoon stopped mid-sentence, probably buying time to choose words he deemed right, "Is everything okay between you and Jungkook?" 

Petra muffled a choked sob with the back of her hand. 

"Oh, sweetheart," she heard him sigh on the other end, all the while inhaling deeply to keep her tears at bay. "I wish I could be there with you right now... okay, okay, wait. Wait. Can you breathe for me? Ten seconds, tops. If it's hard, just count your toes if you want. Okay?"

Petra wondered where the man had picked up this ability to gauge the intensity of a person's feelings merely over the phone, even when the only thing connecting him to them was the resonance of their distorted voice from miles away. But then again, Namjoon had been like that since they were kids. Always able to read between the lines and pay attention to the words people left unsaid, always knowing that things were much more than what met the eye.