The Violence of Love || Yoonmin

4/4

Everything was quiet, the two boys were calmly sitting under the stars on the hammock. Softly swinging from side to side under the moonlight, they looked up to the sky, trying to find some star constellations. No one said a word, they just enjoyed each other's company. Even though they still had some things to talk out, it was a comfortable silence. But then Jimin averted his gaze from the night sky to look at the boy in front of him. He can't believe it's finally over now. He really has his Yoongi back, even though the pain he went through will always leave scars, not only on his arms but also mentally. The other one didn't seem to notice his stares, being too focused on the small lights in the dark sky. After all, Jimin still had romantic feelings for the blue-haired boy. And thanks to Hoseok, it's no secret anymore. What started as a stare full of admiration, slowly turned into a sad melancholic one. 'You will never see me in that way.', he thought. He may be friends with the other one again but that doesn't stop him from having negative thoughts. While sinking into the negative headspace he didn't even notice how some tears slipped out of his eyes. A few more moments passed until he started to feel the younger's gaze on him. He calmly turned his head towards him but panicked as soon as he noticed the other's tears. He immediately went in for a hug and tried to find out what's wrong. "Hey, why are you crying?" The blonde boy was conflicted. Should you tell him the truth or not? Although he's well aware that Yoongi must've heard the redhead male blurting out his secret but what if he didn't hear it? What is he didn't address it because he chose to ignore it because it makes him uncomfortable? Or maybe that was just his way of rejecting him. It was pretty impossible for him to like the younger one in that way as well anyway. He just went through a breakup, of course, he wouldn't be ready for someone new already.

Trying to avoid all that, he tried to dodge that conversation. "It's nothing." But Yoongi didn't buy it. "Chim, you don't just start crying because of nothing." The blonde boy tried to free himself from the other's arms to create some distance. "I just don't want to talk about it." Yoongi also leaned back and sighed before speaking again. "I know, we haven't been friends for a while... But you were my best friend and we could tell each other everything. I want to go back to that. I know it will take some time until I gain back the trust you had in me, but I want you to know that right at this moment you're the most precious human in my life and I don't ever want to hurt or lose you again." In his eyes, it was clearly visible how genuinely sorry he was for his past actions. Jimin noticed this as well and averted his gaze from him, looking at the dimly lit hedge. "It's not that I don't trust you." Even though the younger wanted to avoid his gaze, Yoongi still tried to catch his eyes by leaning into the direction the blonde looks, blocking his view with his head. The blue-haired boy could clearly see how conflicted and troubled the younger one seemed to be with his thoughts. So he could only think of one reason for his behavior. "Is it because of the thing Hoseok said earlier? You know, about your feelings towards... towards me?"

Jimin froze, his heartbeat rapidly increasing, his face heating up and his hands getting shaky. He tried to deny it, to lie, so that he didn't have to have this conversation right now but no words came out of his mouth. The lack of response was enough for an answer for Yoongi, so he thought of his assumption as confirmed. He didn't want to force the younger to speak since it was clear how hard it appeared to be for him. "I know I said I don't ever want to hurt you again but I have to be honest with you. I don't have this kind of feelings for you." He wanted to say more than just that but he got interrupted by some heartbreaking sobs from the boy in front of him. He hugged him again and tried to comfort him with the words he planned and on saying anyway. "I was in love with Hoseok and we just broke up, I'm not ready for anything new yet. Now that I know what of an ass he is, I'm not sad about losing him. I'm only sad about being used and manipulated by a person who I thought loved me and I thought I love. I know I had feelings for him but I'm not sure if it really was love. Apparently, I didn't even know him properly. I only knew his fake side, the lies. Another reason why I'm sad is because of the things I've done and how I treated you. I've never regretted anything more than that in my entire life. And... there is something that I've never told you before. It started even before Hoseok transferred to our school. Way earlier actually. I don't want to get your hopes up or anything but I had a huge crush on you. I just never told you because you were my best friend and on the one hand I was convinced you're straight and on the other hand you were my best friend and I didn't want to do anything that could be a risk to our friendship. The idea of losing you seem so terrifying... Ironically Hoseok helped me to get over you which led to the thing I feared the most. I never told him about my feelings for you but I think he suspected it. I talked about you so many times and he told me to stop that if he's the person I want to date and not you. It looked like he saw you as a threat because every time I mentioned you he made you look bad, lied to me about you and created more and more distance between you and me. Now that I know his true face, all of that makes much more sense and I can't believe how naive and stupid I've been. And... I might not have those feelings for you anymore but who knows what the future brings? For now, I need time. Time to process everything that has happened, to be mad about the things Hoseok did and crossing him completely out of my life and my thoughts. And I especially need time to spend with you to catch up on everything we've missed. You won't be able to get rid of me easily in the future, I promise. Before I can consider anything else, I want my best friend back. But I don't want to exclude the possibility of us being more than that yet. And even if we remain as nothing more than best friends, I want you to know that you're such a lovable person. You are damn cute and hot as fuck at the same time. You have an amazing personality and you're just a beautiful human being. I should feel extremely honored that someone like you fell for me."