MELODY #2

Finding Jannah

The drive home was nothing like the carefree ride we'd had an hour ago. My fears had just come to life in the worst way imaginable and It took every ounce of my self-control not to break down in the car. 

My stomach twisted in knots as I attempted to regulate my breathing. It made me sick how I'd managed to wreak havoc wherever I went. 

God, Akram! How could he not hate my guts right now? His baby sister is taken away because of me. Because of my stupid, worthless life. It's always my fault. He'll finally believe that I'm bad news. That I'm spoiling his life and hurting the people he loves. 

I tightened my arms around my body. If the seatbelt wasn't crushing my chest, I would have been rocking back and forth. 

From all the nightmarish scenarios in which I was the cause of devastation, I'd never thought it would be Jannah. 

Jannah! The sweet angel! How could I do this to her? To Akram? To their family? Is this my way of showing gratitude to Sophie? Causing her to lose her only daughter? Just like I did to the mother of another innocent child six years ago? What kind of a monster am I? How can I live with myself if anything happens to her?

A sob escaped from my lips, but I squelched them shut. Akram didn't have to deal with an emotional meltdown right now. I'd done enough damage so far. I'd invited hell into his life and I'd take full responsibility for everything that might happen to his sister. The poor baby! 

But how? How did they find her? Akmal said we were out of their sight. Akram trusted him. He believed his brother knew what he was doing, but did he really? What if Akmal made a mistake? Or a miscalculation? What if they - my evil pursuers, whoever they were - knew where we've been all along and were waiting for the right time to attack? But why Jannah? She did nothing to anyone. Why didn't they just take me?  I would've let them if it meant they wouldn't hurt Akram or his family.

My body was shaking. I sucked in a deep breath, attempting to restrain the bubble of terror blowing up inside of me. 

I stole a glance at Akram. His knuckles were white as he smothered the steering wheel. He stared at the road with a stoney face, as if he no longer saw the world the way everyone saw it. 

I swallowed a lump in my throat. The look on his face was killing me. But the most excruciating part was watching his transformation from the sunny and cheerful person he'd always been into this blanched, glazed-eyed sculpture. His heartbreaking silence and the petrified look in his eyes stayed with him since we'd left the school without Jannah. 

He hadn't spoken a word after that confrontation with Dana. Even though she'd kept telling him not to worry. As if Jannah meant nothing to her. How could anyone not worry about a missing child? And not just any missing child. It was Akram's only sister. A special child with special needs. 

Akram pulled the phone from his pocket. He glared at the screen, pressed the keys a few times and placed it on his ear. His long fingers choked the small cellphone while he waited for the person on the other line to answer. Seconds later, a grimace crossed his face and his arm flopped down with the phone. 

He repeated the call several times. Each time his silent agitation marred his face. Eventually, he muttered something under his breath and tossed the phone down in the compartment between our seats. 

His arm was sagging next to him when I reached to squeeze his fingers. His hand was icy cold and my heart shattered into pieces. Akram losing his warmth was against the laws of nature. It was too much to bear. 

I rubbed his palm to induce some heat into it. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I whispered, my voice ragged. 

Akram screwed his eyes shut briefly, shaking his head and pressing his lips.