Black & Blue |C. Cullen|

NINE

I woke to the sound of my alarm going off, that was the first night during which I didn't have a nightmare. I stood up and dressed in casual clothes. I took note of the date and recognised that there were tasks I needed to carry out before I could allow myself to relax. I cleaned myself up and tied my hair up in a messy bun and then made my way down the stairs.

I grabbed my car keys off of the table by the entrance to the garage and walked up to Carlisle who was glancing over medical records from the police department, "Can you drive with me somewhere? I don't think I'll be able to drive back is the only issue."

"Of course," he smiled and placed the folders down on the coffee table.

He followed me out of the house and to my car. I took my place behind the wheel and turned the car on. My music played at a medium volume and I drove a few miles out of town, Carlisle was simply observing my outward appearance. I moved my lips to the song but didn't use my voice.

Not using my voice didn't continue on the entire time, I got lost in a softer song as I reached my destination. I turned the car off after I parked, took a deep breath, and got out. I walked over a few feet away from the car and sat in front of my parents' gravestones and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

I took a deep breath and fixed the flowers that were resting against the stones. "Hi, mum. I know I haven't visited in a while, and I'm sorry for that. I know I've had a lot of holidays without you, but I don't know, this one's harder. I wanted to visit during Christmas, but Aaron wouldn't let me.

"I got away from him, Carlisle helped me with that. You would have liked him if you had met him. Dad wouldn't have been able to get around the species thing, but you would have liked him," I took a shaky breath and started to get upset.

"Why did you have to go hunting? You could have left it alone, you could have been here with me. Instead, you hunted when I was a kid. How could you?" I rested my face in my hands and then laid my back on the ground and cried.

Footsteps approached me but I still kept my hands over my face. Carlisle knelt down next to me and helped me sit up. "Are you all right?" He asked.

"It's still hard," I admitted. "She was there but she wasn't. That doesn't make sense, what I mean to say is..." My voice trailed off, "Well, it's exactly that. She existed, but she never really cared about anything besides hunting. For some reason, I can't manage to get over it, get over her."

"I understand, Jessamine," he held me close.

"What about you, what about your mother?" I asked.

"My mother died during childbirth with me," he looked down.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," I leant into him.

"It's all right, love," he soothed.

"You're so kind, so... what's the word?" I racked my brain for a perfect adjective, I turned to him and took his face into my hands, "So you," I kissed him.

"So me?" He chuckled after we pulled away.

"There isn't a word for the degree of compassion you hold," I looked into his eyes.

"Jessamine," he whispered and traced my cheek with his thumb.

"Carlisle," I copied him while resting my hands on his waist.

He kissed my cheek, "Are you ready to go back? We have a game to get to," he seemed to linger on the thought, as though he was going to say something.

"I am," I smiled and attempted to stand, it didn't work so well. I laughed as I rolled back onto the ground.

"Here," Carlisle chuckled and offered his hand to help me stand.