Chapter 2

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Energy...This love is taking all of my energy...

-Keri Hilson,"Energy"

I couldn't wait to get home and cry in peace. The fight with Ameen was messing with every part of my being and felt like... like... I couldn't think straight and if I didn't get my relationship back on track I was sure to wither into a thousand pieces.

I parked my car and walked to my neighbor's house to pick up my ten-year-old sister, Hadiah, who resembled a young Raven Symone and was way too grown for her age. We were close, though, especially since more times than not my mother wasn't home and it felt like all we had was each other.

I rang my neighbor, Ms. Lucinda's, bell. She was a sweet old lady who kept Hadiah a few hours after school until I picked her up. A few seconds later Ms. Lucinda opened the door and Hadiah was standing there, giving me the eye as if to say "what took you so long?" But hump, she would have to understand I was going through some things.

"Thank you, Ms. Lucinda," I said.

" You're welcome baby." She smiled.

Hadiah waved and Ms. Lucinda closed the door.

"Yo," Hadiah said to me as I unlocked our front door and we walked inside. "Ms. Lucinda had me in there watching Wheel of Fortune and learning how to knit. I swear I can't take it." She wiped her brow. "What in the world took you so long?"

"Ms. Lucinda is a nice lady. Plus me and Ameen had an argument so I am not in the mood for your sarcasm."

"You two are always arguing," Hadiah said, exhausted. "And I may only be ten, but when Michael, my boyfriend in class, kept wanting to argue and everytime I turned around he was showing off on the school playground, I dumped him. Maybe you should think about that."

"When you're seventeen you can talk to me about my boyfriend. Until then, do your homework."

"I finished my homework."

"Okay, well watch some television."

"I can't. I keep hearing Wheel of Fortune music in my head. I need to do something else.

"Well, you figure it out while I warm up the dinner Mommy cooked."

Hadiah followed me into the kitchen, sat down, and proceeded to tell me the happenings of fourth grade as if anything they were going through compared to my drama.

Not for one minute can I tell you what she said. My mind was too busy replaying the argument I had with my man.

I warmed up the dinner of chicken,corn, and collards that my mother cooked and left for us in the refrigerator. Lately, leaving cold dinners behind was all my mother was sure to do. Anything other than that was up for negotiation. S he was never home on time or at a reasonable hour. True, she was a corrections officer for Northern State Prison, and, yes, she worked evenings, but it seemed as if we never got to see her anymore.

She was never here to know what we were doing, how we were doing, or what was going on. I use to fill her in on my day until she started falling asleep on me and then I figured if she wasn't interested, then to hell with it. Besides me and my moms never really kicked it like that anyway.

I always felt angry with her, as if she was the cause of most of my problems. Like how, after my dad died of cancer last year, she up and moved us into this house. She didn't ask how we felt or what we thought, she just moved us, and I felt like she was in a rush to leave my dad's memory behind in that dusty apartment. That's when my brother, Derrick, joined the army and never came back, leaving me and Hadiah here with my mother by ourselves.

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