Self-Absorption
Type Fours have the tendency to be excessively "into themselves." This is a particularly nasty flaw that I have struggled with for all of my life.
Self-absorption is similar to the need for attention/approval bullet, since Fours are constantly concerned about (but not necessarily willing to change) their image, actions, and behavior.
Personally, social media is a self-worshiping vice I abuse far too often in the hopes of elevating my near-abysmal self-esteem. I do this by posting YouTube videos of mine, songs I've created, selfies, etc.
Unfortunately, I notice that the only posts of mine that generate triple-digit numbers of likes are selfies. As a Type Four, I don't place much stock in pictures of myself, even though I am certainly vain.
Why? Because selfies are, ultimately, in my eyes, shallow. Inauthentic. They, unlike the creative works I share, are not part of my personal identity, mission, or message.
Because my creative posts tend to generate so fewer responses than pictures, I can become easily discouraged. This ties into self-absorption because I have this faulty assumption in my mind that everyone who is on my feed should immediately drop what they are doing to come listen to/watch/read whatever I have made.
Even though, hypocritically enough, I don't do the same for others.
Additionally, I have this contrary notion that everyone despises me. That I, unlike anyone else in the entire human race, am tragically flawed, different in a way that no other person could possibly hope to ever understand.
I am the weirdest of the weird, the most unlovable and worthless person to ever blight the human race, and yet...interestingly enough, I also think I'm exceptional in ways that others are not.
Self-absorption certainly also manifests in ways apart from social media, in my real life.
Most people who know me will tell you that I am impulsive and make decisions based upon self-interest as opposed to the good of others. I am also a severe daydreamer, forever stuck in my own private universe; more on that later.
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Everything Enneagram 4
Non-FictionA personal introduction to and explanation of the Enneagram personality assessment's "Type Four," the Individualist. This is what life is like as a Four told from the perspective of one. How can fellow tortured artists find their happy place in lif...
