No one seems to understand
I feel like I'm alone in this world
They all demand
But I just can't tell them
Slowly, I seem to be losing them
Of course, it would be my fault
Everything is
I wish I never did it
But I just couldn't help myself
I was so intrigued
That I had to see for myself
When I was little
I always wanted to know what death was about
That made me a freak
It wasn't my fault I was curious
Was it?
When I look back
I wish I kept everything to myself
I wish I wasn't so open
And easily trusted people
It just hurts me in the end
They never actually wanted to be my friends
They just sorta tagged along
My friend, she was one of the closests
Now that I won't tell her,
We seem to be getting more distant.
But I just can't
It's going to hurt her
I feel better knowing she doesn't know
I'll just lose her
Call me selfish
You wouldn't understand
If I told her, she would be gone
She'd think I was a freak
For doing that to myself
She'd think I was ill
And try and get me help
By then, I would've just walked away
My friends are worried
Worried that someday,
I'm going to go to far
I know thats a possibilty
But it wouldn't really matter
Would it?
I'm confused
Why do I do it?
It's just a habbit now.
Whenever I feel stressed it's the first thing I turn to
That's unhealthy, I know
And it's all my fault
Tonight I'm just going to lay in bed
Looking up at the roof
And listening to music
I'm going to think
About how I can make everything better
If I can
By now I've probably ruined everything
Everything to make me 'normal'
Scars litter my body
More are just going to keep on appearing.
I'm self-concious
Never used to be
But now I'm worried that if I dont wear long pants or sleeves
Then someone will see something
Something they're not allowed to see.
I guess it's all my fault, right?
I mean, I was the one who started
I'm the one who did it
I'm the one who still does it.
Self harm...
