Imagine With Me

Moon

~IMAGINE~

Dear Diary,
  
          I found his note today... I never knew about it... Although I wish I had... I'll give you an intro on us. Here's a glimpse of my time with my bestie, Seokjin.

~Start song here~

•Flashback to 8 years ago•

You were crying again. It hurts you. The pain is too much. You were having one of your panic attacks now. It's normal, but it's heart wrenching every single time. This time, seeing your old photos triggered you.

You remember, sitting on the couch with your school friends, during the reunion, seeing everyone.. And seeing him. Not in real life, but in one of the pictures of the old album of your friends. It was the photo of our farewell party...

You see the glass of hot chocolate beside you. You smile a little and drink it, falling back onto the arms of your best friend once again.

You had finally been brave enough to confess your love to your crush after crushing on him for 3 years. You remember feeling so euphoric and happy when he immediately grinned and kissed you. You were so so happy.

You then went home jumping and skipping around in glee and see your bestie, Seokjin, waiting for you in your room. You run upto him and hug him in joy and start jumping up and down on the bed. He laughs and joins you. And after a while of jumping around and a round of pillow fight, you finally tell him. You hadn't seen the way his eyes grew soft, how his shoulders slightly drooped. It was so subtle you didnt even notice. You ranted on and on and then you squealed out about the part where your crush asked you to be his girlfriend. You didn't hear the shattering of his heart nor see the glaze in his eyes. He jumped around with you in pretended happiness. But what he didn't pretend was having fun jumping around with you. Because he loves being with you, no matter what. Even if you'll never see him the way he sees you.

You were crying in pain, thinking back to the moments you had with him. The moments where you kissed each other. The moments spend with him in all your dates. You sobbed thinking about the reason he left you. You were hesitant on getting intimate with him. You asked for more time to be ready every time he'd initiate it. You remember how he broke up with you through a phone call. You remember crying so much, that your eyes were the size of Arabian dates, all puffy. And then you remember something else...

You were trying to sleep. You had been crying for the past 5 hours straight. It took a toll on you. Now you are beyond tired, drained and exhausted. Tears just won't come out of your eyes anymore. You've exhausted that too. You couldn't help but feel like it was all your fault. Even though he was a jerk, you still can't get over him, ever. He's your first true love after all. It's never easy.

The door finally opens and you don't have the strength to open your eyes to check who it is. You thought it would be your girl best friend, who had dropped you off from school.

The person sets down the hot chocolate down onto the table and makes their way towards you. You knew they'd see your messed up state, but you didn't bother. You pretended to be asleep. The person hugged you tight and you immediately recognised who it was.

Seokjin.

He hugged you close his chest, smoothening out your hair with his one hand and rubbing your back with the other. You start to whimper now, the tears coming back. "Shh shh..." he says as he kisses the top of your head and continues on comforting you. You clutch his shirt tight and slowly let your tears onto his dress shirt. You take in his musky scent, it always calms you down. Feeling the wetness of his shirt, he slowly rocks you back and forth. You sigh in content and before you know it, you fell asleep in his comforting hold.

•After 3 months•

You were back on your feet again. You were okay now. Somewhat. You'd still never be able to get over him, but you've let go of him. You chuckle on thinking how your poor Seokjin had to drag your depressed ass out of bed every morning. You smile to yourself thinking about how sweet it was of him to prepare you hot chocolate every morning before rushing to his tutions and then coming back right after school to get you marshmallows and potato chips after going to the supermarket directly from school because he knew that they'd make you feel better. And then he'd kiss you on your cheek and rush off to his evening tutions. You were lucky to have someone like him to be your best friend.

Just then, a guy bumps into you, making you drop all of your books and stationary items. You crouch down to pick them up, the guy mimicking your motions and both of you looked at each other. It was your old boyfriend. He nervously smiles and says, "Hi" and you do the same.

•After one year•

You were once again jumping on the bed, but this time in excitement on what to wear on your date. You forgave him. Not easily though, you were still mad at him, but really, how long could you stay mad at the one guy with whom you were still so desperately in love with? You fell for all the flowers you found on your doormat every morning, all the chocolate boxes he got you, every time he tried to persuade you. You remember waving off Seokjin when he asked if you wanted to play your favourite video game, Overcooked with him, saying that you had 'important business' to do. And that being, meeting up with your ex boyfriend.

Seokjin watches you comparing your outfits in the mirror. He looks intently and doesn't say anything when you ask him which one looks better. You whine at him for zoning out and he looks down sadly before looking up to you all cheery, way too quickly. He says, "You look good in anything.." and you laugh saying that he sounded like he was trying to flirt with you. You joke about how if someone else were to come in right now they'd think that he were your boyfriend. And you go back to fixing your dangling earrings for the night. What you didn't notice was how Seokjin  had neither laughed nor said anything back to you.

•Present•

You grip the wine glass, chugging it down while looking at the bride and groom. They both chuckle at each other while they smear cake on each other's face. The bride laughs and giggles, leans in and kisses the groom. The groom kisses her back, just as happily. You tear your eyes from them. You check your phone again. You see your ex boyfriend's Insta post with his new girlfriend. You shut off the phone. You focus on finishing what you had been writing down in your small notebook. It was Seokjin's gift for you on your 15th birthday, a diary.

Well then, I found his note inside his diary when he asked me to help him move his stuff to his new house. I wasn't supposed to know of it and I shouldn't have sneaked into it, and then maybe I wouldn't feel this terrible, but I did. I found it. I found his note. It was for me. It was a love letter. It was letter he had written to me confessing his love for me. Only difference, it never reached the mailbox.

Guess now I know how he must've felt then. I had wondered why he hadn't told me about it. But now I know. 'Coz that's exactly what I'm doing now. In the end, all the matters is that he's happy. Wishing you a happy married life, Seokjin.

                                                                                   In love with you now,
                                                                                                    Y/N

~Song ends here~

Welp, the song was too short to be in sync with the story but eh well, deal with it. I hope the timeline wasn't too confusing. The italics were flashbacks within the flashback. Oof. Well, I just hope you get what I wanted to convey.