MR BLACK'S SWEETHEART (MxM)

03

UNEDITED

"Let go!" I demand without looking at him, a face that once had been part of my life. I suppose before this I had innate feeling that he is the only one for me. I thought we were both in board. Guess I was so wrong. It's not anymore.

Jeremy and I. We met when we were in high school. I was extremely attracted to him. We were getting along just fine despite both of us being student. In the beginning of our relationship I was a bit heavier while he's bit of health nut. I've been struggling with my weight issues since in primary school. I've always been someone with a laid back and insecurities personality due to my weight issues but Jeremy was always with me, convincing me he liked me for who I was.

That, until his ex showed up at our school from nowhere. His ex has transferred to our school and won't go away since.  It's seems the ex-Lucas not be over Jeremy yet. I try to not let this bother me and prove to Jeremy that I was enough for him. I've never with Lucas face to face until one day when we were at the party at our classmate's house. When Jeremy talk to another friend, I went up to Lucas to try get him to join us since I noticed he was staying away from where most people were. Surprisingly he was a few inches taller than me and had a lot of scars around his neck. He was quite polite when we were chatting. But I just can't help it but feel like I'm just a joke next to him. Instead he being polite, he can't stop mentioning about my body. I know I'm not near to being fit as him but come on. I have feeling too.

After that, my emotions are always on a rollercoaster ride. What bothers me the most when Jeremy has decided to keep his ex around us. On several occasions we had fights over his ex. This used killed me inside that I get so depressed that it's hard for me to get back to my usual bubbly self. Jeremy also discussed things about our relationship with him which in my opinion he should have discussed things with me. This has bothered me a lot. I have brought this up several times but Jeremy still wants to keep him. He has reassured me that he loves me only and only want to be with me so I should put a more trust on him. He just doesn't understand my point of view. It's really tearing me up inside. I doesn't understand how he didn't realized my feeling. Don't let me start when his ex has been non-stop calling him in front of me. I feel direspected

I couldn't take it no more when I caught Jeremy bringing up his ex to his house without letting me know. We had fight again but get over it. One day when I went to his house Lucas was there as well, I walked up to Jeremy's bed and I had caught their conversation which is about my appearance. He felt the need to his ex exactly know about his thought about me. Jeremy laugh so hard when Lucas called me chunky and even calling a few a friends at school with several names as fat, mama bear and insulting them in a way I couldn't believe. I heard how Jeremy say to his ex that how he doesn't like fat people and values skinny type more. I just wish he would communicate with me. I have insecurities like so many others. It hurts so much when he said he needs me to lose 59 pounds. Seriously? Why not 60? This where it got so middled for me. I stormed in and threw my phone on the floor which jolted them both. They were both startle until they saw who was standing at the door way. I saw Jeremy's mouth moved to say something but I just walked out of his room and out of his house.

There is so much anger in my body like a machine gun that is fired constantly without maintenance. I was so ready to blowed up so the next day I tried to approaches Jeremy but he was nowhere to been found. The rest is....BOOM! Mario, one of Jeremy's friend approach me then I was crushed. I feel stupid when he told me that Jeremy choose his ex over me and even slept with him behind my back. The person I trusted most betrayed me without hesitation. I have nobody else but him. But maybe this is the best for both us.

Took me long enough to figure out that I was the only one putting an effort in. No wonder he became sullen and closed off when he was around me after his ex coming back. Well, its been 2 years now and quite a few things have happen and I've finally gotten over it. Though I've still got trust issue.