A Life Spent Loving You

The things that we love....never really leave us in the end.

Of this, Type is eternally sure. More sure than anything he has ever known in his 70 years of life. He has only had one lover in all these years, there was no need for anyone else after Tharn.

Soulmates, you could say.

This house that they built, Type can see his lover in every part of it.The memories are there even if he is not.

Here in this house in Bangkok is where the most precious of their memories were made. The living room where they shared some of the best moments. Parties with old college friends, birthdays, anniversaries, celebrating the adoption of their beautiful daughter. The kitchen, where they cooked endless meals and shared the best of life. The bedroom, where heady love was made....love that still endures to this day.

Who would have believed that the love of a gay man like Tharn could open up the heart of a hurting, homophobic guy like Type? However that is just the kind of man that he was, and that is why Type fell in love with him. When someone sees you at your worst and decides to love you anyway, that is love that lasts.

To say that Type misses his beloved Tharn would be an understatement. He feels the loss of his lover like nothing else that he has ever experienced. The space that he filled in Type's heart and life will always be there, but that's the funny thing about love and loss. The person that you lost may be gone, and yet inexplicably, they are still there.

Type can see Tharn in their house, he can feel him in the sunshine on his face when their daughter helps him take a walk in a nearby park, he can hear his laugh join in when he meets old friends. The memories are what makes this easier to bear.

Life has slowed down in the twenty years he has lived on this earth without his beloved by his side. Lived without feeling his touch or seeing his radiant smile. As Type approaches the end of his life as well, he entreats the universe.

Somehow, someway in his next life.....could he love Tharn again?