The Promise Of Sagada

VII

VII

Run, run, run.

I was running while holding my gown. Hindi ako makaramdam ng pagod habang tumatakbo papalayo sa lahat. Wala akong ginawa kung hindi tumakbo at umiyak. I'm crying helplessly; my heart aches for the second time around. Ano bang ginagawa ko ngayon? Akala ko ba ayos na ko? Why am I running away to my own wedding? Why am I running away just to want to see him again?

Tatlong taon ko siyang hindi nakita, he cuts off our contact; he never let me see him again. Tas ngayon magpapakita siya, hindi parin nagbabago; he's my weakness. My heart always knows who's her owner. Bakit? Tatlong taon bakit siya parin?! Bakit tumatakbo ako ngayon para mahanap siya?! I'm desperate; those memories and those promises flash like fucking thunder. When I met his eyes, all of those burdens and denying feelings I had three years ago came back.

Napatingin ako sa paligid ko, everyone is staring at me, but I continue running. Until my feet stop on the familiar house. I bite my lower lips and desperate knock on the door.
"Please." I whispered, trying to catch my breath, while knocking on the door.

"Ashley?" One woman opened the door; she looked at me with anger in her eyes. "Ate..." I cried while staring at her; her eyes softened. "Bakit nandito ka?" She asked. I vow my head and bit my lower lips, trying to stop my tears.

"Jerome, I want to see him again, Ate," I said in a low voice. I heard Ate's sarcastic laugh dahilan para lalo akong mapayuko. "Ang kapatid ko ba? Siguro ngayon lumilipad na siya papuntang Japan." Those words made me faint, as everything went black.

I open my eyes when I feel the warmth of sunlight touching on my eyes.

Nilibot ko ang paningin ko sa kung nasaan ako ngayon, mapait akong napangiti, I remembered where I run when I'm trying to find him. Napatingin ako sa mga litrato na nandito sa kwarto, it was a picture of a boy who's smiling while playing with his friends. I remember how he told me his childhood story when he was young.

"Anak, gising ka na pala. Mag agahan ka muna." I jumped a little when I saw an old lady na pumasok sa kwarto ko. I look at her with soft eyes, then run towards her para mayakap siya. "Nanay," I said in a soft tone. I feel Nanay's fingers combing my hair. "Kumain ka na muna, mamaya tayo mag uusap anak." I nod my head like a little kid at agad na binitawan si Nanay. I miss how she's calling me Anak.

Napatingin na lang ako sa salamin just to stare at my reflection, maga ang mga mata ko. I remember everything now; nang tumakas ako sa araw ng kasal ko, I'm desperate to see him again, kaya sa bahay nila ako napadpad. My tears stared to fall again one by one; he had already left. Nakayuko akong lumabas sa kwarto, I saw Nanay and Ate's staring at me. Nanay smiled at me while eating Day, just looking at me irritatedly.

"Umupo ka muna nak, sabayan mo kaming mag agahan." Nahihiya akong lumapit sa kanila at umupo sa tabi ni nanay. "Bakit ka tumakas sa kasal mo?" Ate suddenly asked with her irritated tone, and I bit my lower lips. "Ah na realize mo siguro mahal mo pa kapatid ko, ayos ah. After three years, saka mo lang ulit na realize nakapag jowa ka na ng iba." Lalo akong napayuko sa sinabi niya, nanay trying to calm down, but galit parin 'to na tumingin sakin.

"You don't know how much my brother hurt after niyang malaman na meron ka ng iba. But he's trying to be happy. Maging masaya ka lang! Kahit siya na lang nasasaktan letshe!" It made my heart ache, but I accept all of those words; Ate is right, and everything she's saying is right.

"Tatlong taon na nakalipas Ashley, ngayon saka ka tatakbo rito samin para hanapin siya pagtapos mong makahanap na ng iba." I bit my lower lips when I saw ate's little tears on her eyes, her eyes telling me that she's the one who's hurt for her brother, which made me's heart ache more.