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a/n: intense angst ahəad and A FREAKING TRIGGER WARNING to those who had a past with over dosage of their medicine or someone who isn't really okay with anxiety and the likes. please skip this one.

so anyways, if you continue on, don't tell me i dirn't warn you.


"Mike, please believe me! I-I didn't do that!" Billie was clinging on Mike's right arm, which the latter removed.

"No! H-How can you fool me like this?! I trusted you, yet-" Mike was fighting off the tears that wanted to escape his eyes. "Just go away! I don't love you anymore!" He finished his sentence with that, hoping that Billie won't notice that he's hurting. He hoped that if it came out harshly, then his friend wouldn't be hurt longer.

"M-M-Mike...?" Billie clung on tighter to Mike this time. His eyes are already red and puffy from crying. "P-Please don't s-say that.... d-don't leave.."

It was hell for Mike; he never wanted to see his friend cry, yet there he was, the sole reason for Billie's tears. But he had no choice, he had to leave him after he heard the rumours.

Mike pushed Billie away. The petite man stumbled, causing him to cry even louder. He curled himself into a ball, before rocking himself in the corner of his room. "Mike doesn't love me anymore..." Billie mumbled over and over.

Mike wanted to hug Billie, just like what he always do. It was his own way of reassuring his friend that he's not alone. That everything will be alright. That he's alright.

It was sad to see the state of his friend, yet his mind was set on cutting everything that they both have. Mike walked out of his friend's room and slammed the door shut.

As soon as Mike walked out of the door, his anxiety attack worsened. He shook terribly in the corner of his room. "M-Mike l-left me.." He continued to cry until his cries turned into hiccups.

No one was left to care for him. Mike left and so did Tre. They both had given up on him.

His thoughts soon turned to sharp daggers that pierced his own heart and tainted his young mind. His love for his friend had turned agaisnt him.

He crawled towards his cupboard, where his anti-anxiety pills reside. Billie took the familiar orange bottle in his tiny hands and looked at it with deep thought.

His hands shook tremendously as he pried the cover of the bottle. Some pills flew from the bottle as the cap was removed.

Billie had at a dozen of pills left inside the orange bottle and a few more scattered on the floor. He was thinking that if he would drink at least half of the pills in the bottle, then it would take all the pain away. He had no water that made it less convinient for him. Besides having his throat scratched, it would take a longer time to drown the pills away.

The small medicine in his hand was now in his mouth. It melted away as he kept the pill under his tongue.

"O-one.." he counted. The bitterness of his medication was the least of his worries.

A bit of bliss rushed within him. For a moment, past memories of him and Mike seemed so alive and vivid yet felt empty. His mind was being tormented with anguish as it swelled with sadness and hapiness.

He threw some of the contents of the little bottle and drank another. Some pills splattered around him as his hand shook terribly.

"T-two..." The usual medication said that he can only take one, but he didn't care as long as everything goes away. Who cares about him anyway? No one!

His anxiousness turned into nervousness as he felt a sharp pang in his heart. He grabbed his hair and started pulling it as he felt the bitterness of his medicine at the back of his tongue. He can never bring to blame Mike or Tre for leaving him nor be angry at them. It was at himself he's frustrated with.

He got another pill and threw it right into his mouth.

"T-three..." Billie started to feel the effects of his own doing as small black dots appear in his vision. He felt his body weaken as his shivers slowly decreased.

"F-fou-ur..." His vision was spinning; his breath started to hitch and his body felt numb.

He heard footsteps approaching as he took another pill. He hoped it wasn't Mike; he wouldn't like his friend to see him in this state. He knew he was downward pitiful and didn't deserve anyone at all.

"F-f-fi-ive.." His hand dropped the pill-containing orange bottle. All the contents of the bottle flew around him.

His mind was blank now; all his thoughts were gone. His body swayed right and left as his mind fought for his consciousness.

He heard his door slam open that was followed by a blood-piercing scream.

"BILLIE!" Mike ran to his friend, whose body was ready to give up anytime soon. He laid Billie's head on his lap.

Billie recognized the voice. It was Mike. He came back. His friend actually came back. Tears cascaded down on his face as he looked at his friend.

Mike saw the scattered pills around Billie and was struck with horror.

"W-Why Bill, why?!" Mike had tears in his eyes. He couldn't bear to watch his friend's suffering. It was killing him inside.

Billie showed him a bitter smile; it was full of sadness and regret. "E-Everything's f-fine M-Mike. Y-You don't h-have to w-worr-ry a-about-t m-me. I-I'm g-goin-ng t-to m-meet m-my d-dad again, y'know..." He tried to let out a chuckle, but it came out as a weak cough.

"Shit, shit, SHIT!" Mike was panicking as Billie's eyelids drooped low. "Hey Bill, stay with me, got it? Please, stay with me!" Billie didn't respond. His eyes were now closed, but his eyes still had some fluids coming out of his eyes.

He caressed his friend's face with his left hand as he called 911 with his other hand.

"Hello, yes, this is an emergency. Please come immediately! Yes, yes, thank you." Mike ended the call and threw his phone on Billie's bed.

Mike hoped that the paramedics would arrive sooner. He couldn't bear to be the last one to see Billie alive nor be the reason for his death. He knew that it was selfish of him, and when the worst case scenario comes, he'd be forever haunted by his hostile actions.

Yes, he may have heard gossips about Billie spreading awful rumors about him, but that does not make an excuse to break his friend apart, but rather, it was a time to strengthen their bond, a ttime to be there for each other.

Tears streamed down on his face as he held Billie's hand in his. He intertwined their fingers and brought his friend's body near his chest.

Mike couldn't do anything but wait and cry as he watched his friend's undoing.





a/n: a part two ıs much nəədəd, đon't you thınk?

pləasə gıvə mə suggəstıons/ rəquəsts on what ı should do nəxt, thank you!! crıtıcısm ıs much wəlcome too!!

lots of ragə and lovə,
arıəs

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