SHE LOVED ME AT MY WORST

I.

I have a girlfriend named Jane and she's the type of girlfriend that understands me when I am complicated and messy at some point. Nandiyan siya sa tabi ko kapag sobrang down na down ako.

After my mom died, I was left broken and empty. Gabi-gabi akong umiiyak at nasasaktan but Jane was there beside me, looking at me without any judgment. She was there, cheering me up and wiping my tears away.

I was completely healed after my mom's loss because of my girlfriend.

But months later, another storm strucked me--- I failed to pass the Bar Exam.

I was so devastated because I had high hopes that I could aced the exam. I mourned every single night, questioning my capability as a law student.

But despite of everything, my girlfriend was still there in my darkest times.

"Cry, Ash. Let it out. Then try it again. I know you can do it, mahal. I believe in you," she cheered as she cried beside me.

Sinasabayan niya akong umiiyak tuwing gabi. We just cried and cried until the pain fades away.

Biglang nanumbalik ulit ang sigla ko dahil sa tulong niya.

Our relationship was strong but sometimes, I became rude to her. I sometimes yelled at her if I couldn't handle my anger anymore. At minsan 'pag umuuwi akong lasing, she's taking care of me instead of getting angry. Nililinis niya ang kalat ko sa tuwing nagsusuka ako. She saw the ugly parts of me but she still stayed.

"I love you so much Ashton even if you yelled at me, even if you disappoint me sometimes, even if you get angry at me, even if you were being rude, manipulative, distant, bitter, angry at the world, I will still stay and embrace the ugly parts of you because that's what love all about. To stay even if the situation is worst," bulong niya atsaka niya ako niyakap.

My heart moved and my eyes started to heat up.

Sobrang perfect niya talagang babae.

Ang dami kong nakikitang rason para iwan niya ako pero hindi niya ginawa.

She loved me at my worst and still chose to stay.

-
Years passed, for the second attempt, I passed the Bar Exam.

Finally, I am now a certified lawyer.

Jane and I were been together for already four years and our relationship went smoothly.

Not until...

"Bro, look at Lea's DP." Ipinakita sa akin ni Jake ang dp ni Lea, ka-workmate ni Jane at para akong nasiraan ng bait dahil sa nakita ko.

Jane was naked while sleeping with another guy.

I balled my fist in anger and pulled my hair.

Tangina!

Iniisip ko pa lang na may kasamang ibang lalaki ang mahal ko sa higaan, uminit bigla ang ulo ko.

Gusto kong sumabog sa galit. Gusto kong manakit. Gusto kong magwala at magsigaw sa sobrang sakit.

Kalat na kalat na social media ang larawan ni Jane at bigla na lang akong nakaramdam ng pandidiri sa kaniya.

Agad akong pumunta ng condo at marahas kong kinuha ang mga damit ko at nagsimulang mag-impake.

Pinipigilan ko lang ang mga luha ko na huwag bumagsak pero sa tuwing naiisip ko ang larawan ni Jane na may kasamang ibang lalaki, 'di ko mapigilang maiyak.

Natigilan ako nang biglang bumukas ang pinto at nakita ko si Jane.

Pinanigkitan ko siya ng mata. "FUCK YOU, JANE! HOW DARE YOU TO HURT AND FOOL ME!" Tumaas ang boses ko at nakita ko ang pagpikit ng mga mata niya.