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prologue

a/n: welcome dear reader, just to preface, this book WILL be triggering for a few audiences. there will be explicit scenes focused on alcohol, drugs, violence, verbal abuse, distortions, and dissociation.

there will be mentions of physical abuse, sexual harassment/affairs, and other disturbing topics.

if you are in any way triggered or bothered by these themes then i would advise you to stop here and/or please seek support. i will be open to listen and support you via private message if any concerns may arise.

and hey, let's all be open and understanding towards each other :) i care about you, and i will not tolerate any disrespect in the comments.

i will be accepting constructive criticism that aims to improve the content of this story. however i WILL NOT put up with hate comments complaining about the plot or characters because i know where i am going with this, not you :)

and please, don't plagiarize my work. yes, the first person who did it was pretty original but if you're not them then try coming up with something genuine.

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p r e v i e w

"hey, yoongi."

said boy glances up from his phone with a curious expression but drops it, rolls his eyes, and returns back to Wattshit when he glimpses at the speaker. "what do you want, yerin."

yerin sighs, planting her hands on her hips. she looks at the engrossed boy at his desk and then over to her friends on the other side of the classroom who gesture for her to go on with their plan. she pauses to mentally go over the sentence she's repeated in front of her group, and throws on a fake smile, turning to him. believe it, she pleads to herself, i swear i'm doing this suicidal asshole a favor. he's going to come running back to me. she smirks.

"you know..." she drags the syllable. "i was thinking if we could hang out sometime this week." a pause, nothing from him. she takes this as a sign to go on, "maybe get some coffee?"

still, not even a blink in her direction.

she tries again, "i heard you're not dati-"

but she was cut off by an irritated yoongi slamming his phone on his desk and standing up to match her height. he shoots her a death glare as she gulps, suddenly less confident.

he pulls her by her arm into the deserted hallway and his expression is all fury as he faces her apprehensive one.

"listen bitch. are you that damn stupid to not understand what 'stay the hell away from me' means?" he grits out. "or do you have no fucking shame?"

"w-well-" she inhales a shaky breath and shuffles through her options, regaining her composure in the process. "i-if you hadn't been so caught up in your own shit, maybe i would have stay-"

"this isn't about me," yoongi cuts her off. he shakes his head while discretely wiping a stray tear. "and i don't want to hear another excuse. why do you keep coming back to me when your shallow relationships fail? why am i always the one you keep coming back to? do you think i'll fall for you after what you-" his voice cracks on the word, "-did."

yerin can't help but roll her eyes at his slight show of emotion.

she scoffs, "i can't believe you! how you get so bent out of shape when i try talking to you-- can you not get over what happened a year ago!"

he can't take her words on top of his years' worth of inner turmoil.

"YOU BROKE MY HEART, YERIN," he screams wildly gesturing to his chest. he fights tears as the girl drops any trace of nervousness and her disgust grows. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHA-"

"i didn't come to you to listen to your shit," she spits.

yoongi turns away from her, not bothering to put up with whatever yerin was going to lie about next.

she shouts after him but he's already heading out the front doors of his university building, even though his class was about to start in three minutes.

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the skies were churning as much as his emotions were, dark grey clouds rolling in. the cold wind biting at his already reddened cheeks ceaselessly slammed into him at every direction. the droplets, previously sprinkling like powder from the sky, now falling heavier like the clouds crying angry tears.

as yoongi stalks off, a maelstrom of emotions shaking his insides, he asks to no one in particular why. why does she still do this to me? why can't i get over her?

he grits his teeth.

that whore.

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a/n: this book will be based on either personal experiences or ones that have been shared with me.

i am merely using names and physical attributes of the members of BTS. I do not own BTS. Any similarities relating to actual persons or events is entirely coincidental.

lowercase intended.

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This text shall not be redistributed or reproduced by anyone without the written consent of the author unless in brief quotations used for a book review.

2020 @euphoricfilms