Little Birdie

letting go

She could feel the cold, calloused tips of his fingers brushing against the pale skin of her face, beckoning for her to climb higher with him; to meet him at the top so that he could show her the world where she could see everything, and to remind her just how big everything around her is.

The soft whispers of endearment were still ringing in her ear like she'd only just heard them, and upon closing her eyes she could feel the breath on her ear, the fear of falling in love mixed with the relief of not being alone anymore still fresh in her mind.

She missed the way being with him horrified her in all the best ways; the way he looked at her that finally made her feel good enough, like she wasn't a disgusting freak.

She missed the one embrace that warmed her, that comforted her when she felt like less then a human, the firm grip that would hold her close and silently promised her it would stay forever- how naive she had been.

Everything she had felt, was wrong.

Pushing herself over the edge, she reached the top, from where she could see everything; all the people who taunted her for not being like them.

She knew what she had to do; she knew that everyone wanted her to do it, though no one dared to voice such taboo words. To be so direct might cause them to be cast aside too, sentenced to a life of watching all you hold dear living life around you while wishing to themselves you would go away.

She would never have the long beautiful soft golden hair that her sisters had, or the gorgeous emerald blue eyes and seemingly never-ending lashes her brother had, nor the beautiful body her 'friends' all had.

She'd never be the top of her class like her father was when he was her age, nor would she even come close to being the perfect little princess her mother wished she would be. She'd never have the future her parents had always chased after for her.

The cold breeze of the night gently picked up the ends of her silky nightdress as she stepped onto the ledge overlooking the busy city, the delicate pink fabric of her gown caressing the smooth curves of her legs.

A shudder ran down her spine, the lights and motion blurring into one as her senses zoned away.

She focused on the soft soles of her feet delicately toeing forward, but the thought of never hearing her mother singing to her brothers again made her heart jump into her throat and take her breath away.

Tears burned her eyes and blurred her vision, she never sang like that for me.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, she took in the view of the streets below. It was beautiful, almost beautiful enough to make her forget the cruel words she wasn't supposed to hear, the cruel words that came from the mouths of the ones she trusted the most.

The muscles in her chest tightened almost as though trying to protect her heart from further damage, but the searing pain that burned from her heart and spread throughout the rest of her was already there, no turning back now.

No apologies or explanations could ever wash away the tainted love she still tried with everything she had to believe in, nothing could bring her from this moment.

She knew where she belonged now, she knew who she belonged with, for once she was going to do something right.

cold wind blew around her slender body, she closed her eyes and let the cold embrace her, for only a moment, collecting her scattered thoughts, it was like something was trying to cool her burning rage inside, finally letting go of the tension In her shoulders, she leaned ever so slightly forward opening her eyes one last time to take in the view of the city that she once thought of as home.

The last of her tears slid down her cheeks the salt burning against the raw spots of her cheeks left behind from the previous tears, one more deep breath...

"Nothing here matters anyway..."

She closed her eyes and took the final plunge, embracing the cold that engulfed her, arms splayed to the sides as though she were flying, she had never felt so free, not even the commotion of the people around her broke the peace she felt in her heart, the yells of panic muffled by her heartbeat, nothing
mattered but the wind and where she was going...

She wasn't sure how long she had been falling for, but when she woke up she lay with her head on cotton-like moss, the sounds of birds chirping and wind blowing excited her.

she looked around her in amazement, she'd really done it, she'd finally found the place she'd been looking for her whole life, it was beautiful.

like every Amazing fairy tale mixed together, the tall trees were plush with pastel leaves of every color, a floor of green grass covered as far as the eyes could see, and then some.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a bird..no it was a monkey... the flying creature swooshed past her face causing her to lean back against the moss she had just sat up from, a loud gasp of surprise escaping her "a bird monkey??" She thought to herself.

cautiously sitting back up in search of the creature, pulling her feet beneath her to help push herself back up, she noticed a giant rip down the side of her nightdress, nearly exposing her entire leg, not particularly caring to fix it she simply ripped the soft fabric the rest of the way, shortening it too mid-thigh.

No sooner had she done so a voice rang in her ears, the voice she'd longed for so long to hear.

His rough voice rang in contrast to the soft sounds of the birds, the forest going silent a heavy tension covered the forest no doubt also brought upon by his presence.

"Don't do this to yourself, my little birdie"

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