What it's like

Chapter 3

*WARNING! Possible trigger*

Sometimes only crying can seem to help. Some cry more than others but it's a coping mechanism. If you have anxiety and depression don't bottle it up and fight it. Just stop what you're doing and walk away and let it out. I cry everyday and I hate it but it helps. I tried bottling it but it ended up making things far worse for me. With depression every little thing just upsets me. I'm not gonna lie even just a small inconvenience upsets me. I'm gonna tell you guys about what happened to me the other day. I'm doing better now than that day. The other day I tried taking the bus to work only to find out I couldn't cus the route ended in 30 minutes. Boy was I upset. What made me more upset was having to walk in the rain walking 40 minutes to work. You may think I'm overreacting but like I said everything has been upsetting me. As I was walking I couldn't help but wonder why nothing was going right. My first thought was I didn't want to be here anymore. During my walk I was hoping to get hit by a car or something. I knew what I was feeling. I knew it was wrong but felt like it would be right. So instead of looking at the cars like I was doing prior I reached out to a group of friends and they helped me thru it. I'm still depressed but I'm no longer feeling suicidal. I've never done anything and hope I never will. The moral of this chapter is reach out to someone. A friend, parent, sibling, co worker, neighbor, pastor, anyone. Call the suicide hotline if you don't want to talk to anyone you know 1-800-273-8255 or text CONNECT at 741741. Or message me. I'm here and willing to talk to you. No one deserves to go thru this alone. No one deserves to feel alone or invisible or like they don't matter at all. You matter! ❤️