Shadow

I wanted to be a rap star. I wanted to be at the top, I wanted to be a rock star, I wanted all the fame to be mine , I wanted to be rich, I wanted to be the ruler of all. My name is Min Yoongi, I am 17 years old.I am Korean, born in Taejeon-dong south Korea . My dream was to become a famous rapper. Everyday when I was little I would imagine myself on the stage with many spotlights shined on me. Large crowds cheering as I showed up on stage. Everyday I would wonder how I'm going to reach my goals and become what I wanted to be. I would work very hard every day to try to reach my goal. As years passed by I practiced my rapping and dancing and many other things related to music and more. And in the end I succeeded, I reached my goal, I became worldwide famous, my music became very popular. And everyone finally knew who I was! I became everything I ever dreamed to be! But as time went on I became lonely. Nobody ever told me it was this lonely up here. When you're famous you can't hang out with the people you wish to hangout with, you can only hangout with other people that are in the same social class as you. As I became more famous the more I felt depressed. I would always tell the media how wonderful my life is but in reality my life was miserable. My shadow hid what I truly was like. On tv I was like Mr.Perfect. But in real life I was sleepy, and tired all the time. The more famous I become the more my shadow grows. I am afraid that soon I will no longer know who I really am. I would scream in my room "Don't let me shine anymore, I don't want fame anymore."

Soon I stopped smiling at the camera as much as I used to, and the tv host would always say to me after the interview. "Try smiling more, Why are you hesitating? I thought this was the kind of thing you wanted". Jin  would come over and see me depressed and ask me "what's wrong Suga?" And I would always reply "nothing" But one day I finally told my Jin how I really felt.

"Jin... I don't want to be famous anymore. I hate my life."

"But Suga wasn't this what you wanted? Wasn't this the life you were hoping for? You achieved everything you ever wanted to achieve. And on top of that you have a big house,big cars,and a lot of money. And the group needs you. Bts wouldn't be Bts without you."

" I know Jin but  I just don't feel very happy".

"Suga if you are not happy about being famous you can always just quit. Rm them will understand"

"I don't think quitting is an option, No matter how I hide the paparazzi will find me eventually" .

Soon my sanity broke and I started to always say to myself. " I have had enough of this, My life is miserable, and I don't even know who I really am anymore! I don't see a point in living anymore!" But I still lived anyway. As months passed by I started to break apart. And one day I snapped. I couldn't live this miserable life anymore. And so I decided to die. I walked into an empty white room  with box everywhere.The room was originally supposed to be a workstation with lots of things to inspire me. The room wasn't done yet but I wasn't planning on finishing it anyway. I walked towards the table and chair ( which were the only thing in the room), The table was made of a fine dark wood with a beautiful blued stained glass going through the middle of the table making it look like a river. The chair was pretty much the same but the arm rests were 24 carrot gold. I sat at the table and got out a piece of paper to write a letter to my family and friends. Many hours later I finished writing my letters. I got up and left the house. Soon I was standing at the top of the Lotte tower ins Seoul . Wind passed through my hair as I stood at the top. Everything from up top looked so very small. "This is my final destination" I leaped into the air in a graceful movement. As I fell down I could see all the happy memories replaying in my head. Wet tears rolled down my cheeks . People screamed as I continued to fall to my death. As I hit the soft wet grass I could feel my consciousness fading away. My vision started to blur  and soon everything went black.